History of the Moustache - Part 2

“Gunther! This club is like, the hottest club in all of Sweden. You are a genius. How do you do it?”

The TV interviewer held out his microphone for Gunther to talk into.

“With lots of love, my friend. A lot of time and energy went into making this club.”

“And such a genious idea. ClubGunther. Celebrities from around the world are flocking to this place Gunther. You've become like, the hottest club owner in the world. How does it feel?”

“Well, it feels great. I am the most popular man alive, its great to feel this way. My club is a success, I am a success, and I get more women than any mere mortal man could dream of.”

“Well Gunther, it appears that you truly are a god. So whats next for Gunther? You've made it big as a club owner, and a model, where do you go from here?”

“Well. I have thought long and hard about this. No pun intended. But ladies. You can come see for yourself. Anyways. I would like to take this time to officially retire from the modelling business.”

“Wait, you're retiring? From modelling? Why?”

“I've lost interest. It's something I did for seven years now. I'm twenty-five years old. I need to spend more time focusing on my clubs, and on women. Modelling is old. It got in the way. It's not the life for me anymore.”

“Wow. This is truly a sad day folks. A sad day indeed. Does this mean that we've seen the last of Gunther in the public eye?”

“Oh no. You will be seeing much more Gunther in the future. In what, I do not know. But you will see it.”

“Well that's great news Gunther. I think people were a little scared that they would no longer get to see you again. Myself included.”

“Don't worry, you'll all still be seeing me. In fact, tomorrow, I have just been informed that I will be attending the World's Sexiest People show, as I have been nominated as the World's Sexiest Person.”

“Wow, that is truly great news Gunther. We'll all be sure to tune in, and cheer for the man with the world's greatest moustache. Thanks again Gunther.”

“You're welcome. Remember my people. Glamour, Sex, Respect, and Champagne.”

With that being said, Gunther turned around and walked into his club. He looked around. The place was hoppin. People were dancing everywhere, drinking, having a great time. Gunther looked back at the special sexual section he had made. Sure enough, it was packed full of people, all wanting to get their sex on. Gunther smiled. He was pleased at how this was going. He walked back to the special owners room, where only people who Gunther allowed could come. Generally it was female celebrities who would end up giving themselves up to him. It truly was the life.

He walked into the room, the disco ball hanging, people dancing, and having a great time. But he noticed someone out of place. At the table reserved for him, there was a man. He was fairly sized, and was wearing a nice suit. He looked like he was waiting for Gunther. Gunther walked over.

"Excuse me, but are you expecting anyone?"

"Gunther! My man, its a pleasure to meet you. My name is Hans Olo. I represent Warner Music Sweden. And boy do I have an offer for you."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not interested in working for a music company. I'm happy enough owning a club, the most successful club in Sweden, maybe the world"

"I realize that Gunther, but this isn't about working for us. This is about more than that. We want you to sing for us. But not just you. You will have these wonderful ladies with you."

The man whistled, and two beautifully attractive women came over. They sat down beside the man, and stared dreamily into Gunthers eyes.

"Gunther. Meet the Sunshine Girls. We, along with you, want to produce the world's first musical act that focuses on the sexual way of life. Much like you live your own life Gunther"

"So you want me to sing about sex?"

"Not just sex Gunther. But the sexual way of life. The way you live yours. Glamour, Sex, Respect, and Champagne. We want that to be the basis behind Gunther and the Sunshine Girls"

"Hmmm. This sounds interesting. Keep going"

"Well, if you accept, we have you lined up to record an album in the coming weeks. You'll release one song, and a video, and then the album will be released a few weeks later. You have all the help you need writing songs, plus, you have the lovely Sunshine Girls at your assistance."

The Sunshine Girls smiled at Gunther. He blew them a kiss

"So you think that this will help me, popularity-wise?"

"Oh, Gunther, my man, this will skyrocket you! You'll be bigger than the Beatles my friend. You'll be a household name. And every celebrity will want to have sex with you. Every single one!"

"Hmmm. All this is tempting, I'll say that. And I have been told that I have an excellent voice"

"Oh Gunther, your voice is perfect. It's exactly what we are looking for. We need you Gunther. You can revolutionize music."

Gunther looked at the Sunshine Girls.

"Okay. I'll do it."

The man got up and smiled.

"That's excellent news! If you'll just sign here, we can make it official"

Gunther took a pen, and signed the contract.

"Great. We know you have an awards show tomorrow, so we think you should announce it there, and the you can start recording the next day. With your genius, you should be able to figure out a song by then, don't you think?"

"I already have one in mind. I think you'll find that its quite excellent."

"Great news Gunther, just fabulous news. We we look forward to seeing you at the studio in two days time. Oh, and once you announce your singing career, we'd love for you to be with the Sunshine Girls as frequently as possible. To further enforce your message"

"I think I can do that."

"Great. See you in two days."

The man got up and shook Gunthers hand, and walked away. Gunther sat down. A singer. That was something new. He had never done anything like it before. But he could do it. Because he was the man. It would be no problem, and, like Hans said, it would make him more famous than he could imagine. He walked over to his personal bar. He saw a lady sitting there, looking out at the dancefloor. He sat beside her.

"Hello, I am Gunther"

"Oh my god, you are! Hey Gunther. I love this club!"

"Much appreciate. I spent a long time on this. I try for perfection"

"Well, I can certainly tell that."

"But there is one thing more perfect that my club"

"Oh yeah? And what might that be?"

"My sexual abilities"

"Is that so? Shall we go see if that's the truth?"

"Well, I know it is the truth, but if you'd like to find out yourself, then sure."

"Oh, I would love to find out"

"Excellent. I have a special room set up just for this, because it happens so frequently."

"I can imagine that it does. You are so sexy"

"I am a Sex God. What can you expect?"

"Obviously I can expect the best sex of my life."

"That's a guarantee. Lets get to it"

Gunther closed the door to his special room. He threw her on the bed, and then his body took over from there. He was rough, but passionate enough. He was the perfect sex partner, for anyone in the world. He had had sex many a time so far in his life. He knew the in's and out's, so to speak. This was going to be one more woman to add to his checklist.



"Welcome to the Sexiest People awards show! Can I see your invitation?"

Gunther handed the man his invitation.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. You are the great Gunther? I didn't know, I don't know how I didn't recognize you, I'm so sorry. Forgive me"

"Much love my man. You were just doing your job. I respect that. Respect is an important thing. If you respect yourself, others will respect you too."

"Wow, thank you Gunther. Those words are actually inspiring. You really are the best love-machine in the world."

"Yes, I am. Thanks."

Gunther walked into the big room, and walked over to his seat. He sat down, and was immediately converged upon by two attractive girls. He blew them both a kiss, but did not smile, because Gunther never changed facial expressions.

"Oh my gosh, are you really the Gunther? We're huge fans of your modelling, and what you have done on the club scene"

"Yes, it is I. Appreciated. I did my best work. But, it's hard to fail when you are as attractive as me."

"You've got that right. You're really hot"

The girls blabbered on over Gunther for the next three hours. He had lost interest in talking to them early on, so he pulled out a notebook and began to write down lyrics for his newest song. He loved them. They were so perfect, the studio was going to love him. Not that they already didn't. But they would love him even more.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. It is time to announce the winner of this years 'Worlds Sexiest Person' title. This man is known to all for his amazing good looks, and his considerable skill in the bedroom. He's a first time recipient, but this won't be the last time he wins. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, the World's Sexiest Person, Gunther!"

Gunther stood up. He looked around at everybody in the place, erupting in cheers for him. This was the kind of feeling that he had always wanted! The feeling of thousands and thousands of people screaming for him. He absorbed it all in. It truly was a great moment for Gunther. And he would get this every day as a singer. He knew that he made the right choice. It was perfect.

He made it to the stage, and took the award from the man who was giving it. Someone who Gunther didn't really care to know about, because he wasn't as sexy as Gunther, or even close really. Maybe forty years ago he was, but he was just old now.

"Much love. Thank you everyone. My journey began a long time ago, and it has finally culminated in this. The World's Sexiest Person. What a title to hold. But I'm not going to stand here before you and tell you that I didn't expect to win. Because that would be a lie, and lying is not respectful. And I'm all about the respect. I already knew that I was the sexiest man around, but it's really nice to hear someone else acknoweldge it. It's a great honour to win this award, and I'm sure as I am sexy that I will not give this back up easily. It's going to take someone mighty sexy to win this award back from me, because I'm as sexy as they get. And thats the bottom line. But now the reason I am here for this speech. Recently, I retired from the modelling industry. It was boring, I didn't want to do it anymore. I don't care if people question it, because I know I made the right decision. My club has skyrocketed in popularity, so I am happy there. I had planned on sitting back, and living the rest of my life and retiring as the world's most popular and sexy club owner. But yesterday, I was approached with a very interesting offer. Some might call it, 'an offer that I couldn't refuse'. I took a little bit of time to think about it. But I decided that it would be for the best if I accepted. So I did. So, ladies and gentlemen, tomorrow, I begin my career as a singer. That's right. There's a new musical act in the world, and that's Gunther and the Sunshine Girls. Look for our new single in a few days. It will be legendary. Thanks ladies and gentlemen. And remember. The only way to live your life, is to live it the Gunther way. Glamour, Sex, Respect, and Champagne. Much love"

Gunther turned and walked off the stage, to an enormous cheer from the entire crowd. They loved him. His new single would be popular in no time. His career would skyrocket. It was the best news that he could possibly have heard. The cheers told Gunther everything. These fans would eat up everything that he did. And he loved it. Almost as much as he loved himself. But not quite that much. He was pleased. He went home, but not before picking up the two girls who were sitting beside him for some late night loving.



Gunther stepped out of his limo at Warner Music Sweden studios. He looked at the big studio. He was ready. He pulled the piece of paper with the lyrics out of his pocket. He looked them over. Perfect. He walked in. He said hello to the receptionist, who waved him onwards towards the actual studio. Gunther walked in, and saw Hans Olo, who had talked to him yesterday.

"Gunther! So glad you are here. You have the lyrics that you wrote?"

"I do. I made it a semi-remake. But don't worry. I already got permission from the people who first did it. And this version will be even better."

"Excellent news. Do you want to go over it with the Sunshine Girls?"

"Of course. It's very simple. Every part in pink, you sing. Every part in green, I sing. Sound easy?"

"Yes"

"Okay. I think we are ready. Just give me one of your basic beats"

"Is this good?"

"No, try another"

"This?"

"No. no. no. Yes!"

"This one is good?"

"Yes, that one is perfect. We can tweak it after, am I correct?"

"Of course you are Gunther. This will just help you sing the song now. We'll go over background beats and music afterwords. You can start anytime after I say so"

"Alright"

Gunther and the Sunshine Girls took their positions in th recording studio. Gunther was ready. He saw the producer give the thumbs up and start the beat. Gunther leaned into the microphone. He was so close that his moustache was almost touching it. And he began the song.

"Ohhhhh, you touch my tralala.....Mmmmmm. My ding ding dong"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, la lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Ohhhh....you touch my tralala"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Mmmmmmm, my ding dong dong"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, la lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Deep in the night.....I am looking for some fun.....Deep in the night......I am looking for some love......Deep in the night......I am looking for some fun........Deep in the night......I am looking for some..."

"You tease me...Oh please me....I want you to be my love toy....Come near me....Don't fear me....I just can't get enough of you, boy"

"Ohhhhh...you touch my tralala"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Mmmmmm, my ding ding dong"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Ohhhh...you touch my tralala"

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Mmmmm...my ding ding dong...my ding ding dong."

"La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala, La lalala lalala, lalalalalalala"

"Deep in the night.....I am looking for some fun.....Deep in the night......I am looking for some love......Deep in the night......I am looking for some fun........Deep in the night......I am looking for some..."

"You tease me...Oh please me....I want you to be my love toy....Come near me....Don't fear me....I just can't get enough of you, boy"

"Ohhhh....you touch my tralala"

"La lalala lalala"

"Mmmmm...my ding ding dong"

"La lalala lalala"

"Ohhhh..you touch my tralala"

"La lalala lalala"

"Mmmm...my ding ding dong"

"La lalala lalala"

"Ohhh......you touch my tralala....Mmmmmm....my ding ding dong"

Gunther looked over at Hans. His jaw was open. And open far. Gunther knew he liked it. After all, Gunther had written it. What was not to like? There was so much good about this song that it was amazing. The Sunshine Girls had done their part good too.

"Did you like it?"

"Like it?! I loved it! And the entire world will love it. And I know just the background beat for it. It is perfect. This song will be a hit."

"Thank you. I thought it was quite excellent"

"It was more than excellent. It was a number one single. Congratulations Gunther. You have just made the first single to a brand new album. What I predict to be one of the most successful albums of all time. Did you have an idea for a name?"

"Actually yes, I did."

"Well, let's here it"

"Pleasureman"

The producer looked at him.

"Pleasureman...I love it! It's perfect. It describes you perfectly. Amazing. Gunther, you truly are a genius. It's a wonder you're just getting into music now."

"Well, I never had a reason to before. Now I realized that I want the fans, the glory. I want it all"

"Of course you do Gunther. Who wouldn't want all of this? You're the man, and will always be the man. Congratulations"

"Much appreciate. But I must go now. I will come back tomorrow with new songs."

"Excellent. In about a week, I'll set up an interview/live show with BBC Radio One. Does that sounds good?"

"That sounds perfect my good man. Goodbye"

"Goodbye Gunther. May your song be a wonderful success"

"Oh, I'm sure it will. People can't resist my voice"

Gunther walked out of the studio. He was very pleased. His song had gone exactly as planned, and soon it would be a number one hit. And he would get to sing a song live on BBC Radio One, which was the biggest radio spot you could get in Europe. Gunther was very pleased. He had to make sure the song that he sung was perfect. And he had just the song for it.



"Ladies and gentlemen. I am so pleased to announce our special guest today. He's the man you all know, but never known for singing. Until he recorded a song that went number one in only a few days. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, the Sexiest Person Alive. Gunther!"

"Thank you Chris Moyles. I am glad to be here"

"Now Gunther. Everyone wants to know. You came out of nowhere, musically-speaking. What made you decide to get into music?"

"Well, Chris, as you know, I am a ver sexy man. I was one of the best models in the world. I became well-known because of that. But I grew up poor. Very poor. I was insulted a lot. Then I went away for four years, for something secret, and I came back a new man. My mother had died. So I decided that I wanted to live a live good enough for both of us. I always wanted fame and fortune. I guess I just always wanted more. To be the best, the most famous. So I decided that I would open a club. And use my sexyness to exploit it. I got it so well known, that it is currently the hottest club in Europe, maybe the world. But I wasn't completely happy. I retired from modelling. I had no interest any more. I had done it all, gone as far as I could go as a model. I didn't want it to keep holding me back. I needed to escape from it. So I retired. Intended to focus on my image as the greatest club owner ever. But I soon realized that I was not a global icon yet. I needed more. And Warner Music Sweden approached me, offering me a deal. I could sing. Become more famous than I had ever imagined. So of course I took the deal."

"Of course. And your debut single, was a smashing hit. How do you explain that?"

"Well, I think people just haven't ever been exposed to such racy lyrics. Such sexual content. But everyone secretly has many sexual desires. They are attracted to it, because it represents something that they have always wanted, but are afraid to reveal to the public eye. They are afraid that it might hurt their public image. Which is why I am here. To help spread the word, that anyone can open up like this, wear their sexuality on their shoulder, proudly. I don't want the world to live in fear of revealing their sexual desires. I'm hoping this song can help that. Plus, look at me. Who wouldn't want to hear this sexy face sing?"

"Ah Gunther, no shortage of self-confidence in you is there? I'm just playing. You're a great guy. So, tell me about this album you are working on."

"The album is entitled, Pleasureman. Named after, of course, me. I felt the name was appropriate. It is an eleven track album, featuring many great songs, all about the sexual side of things. I base my career like I base my life. Champagne, Glamour, Sex, and Respect. I would like the world to give that a try as well. Try living your life like that. It will do wonders."

"I know one person that will be living their life like that from now on. Me. But I hear you have a song from your new album that you are going to sing to us? Would you like to do that now?"

"Of course. The Sunshine Girls and myself spent a long time on this one. We think it paid off."

Gunther stood up and walked over to the spot where he had been told to sing. He got up to the microphone, and whispered into it, in a very sexy voice.

"This song is called Crazy and Wild. Gunther and the Sunshine Girls. Respect. Much love."

Gunther moved back while the beat began to play for the song. He leaned into the mic and begain to sing.

"Do you want me like this....or do you want me like that?"

"Na na na na na na na na na.........."

"I'm so free....you wake this god inside of me.....So take your chance....let's do the mating dance....It's a sexual thing....you know my ding a ling....nothing more to say.....we'll do it anyway"

"Come to me, run to me, I'm crazy and you're wild. Come to me, run to me, tonight, tonight, tonight! "Na na na na na na na na na.........."

"I'm so free....you wake this god inside of me...so take your chance....let's do the mating dance"

"Come to me, run to me, I'm crazy and you're wild. Come to me, run to me, tonight, tonight, tonight!....Come to me, run to me, I'm crazy and you're wild. Come to me, run to me, all right, all right, all right! Na na na na na na na na na.........."

"Do you want me like this...mmmmmm....or do you want me like that?....Do you want me like this.....ahhhhh...or do you want me like that?....Do you want me like this...mmmmmm....or do you want me like that?....Do you want me like this.....ahhhhh...or do you want me like that?"

"Come to me, run to me, I'm crazy and you're wild. Come to me, run to me, tonight, tonight, tonight!....Come to me, run to me, I'm crazy and you're wild. Come to me, run to me, all right, all right, all right! Na na na na na na na na na.........."

"Do you want me like this...mmmmmm....or do you want me like that?....Ahhhhh....Do you want me like this.....mmmmm...or do you want me like that?"

Na na na na na na na na....."

"Do you want me like this...or do you want me like that?....Ahhhhhhh"

Gunther looked over at the DJ. The DJ just began clapping.

"Wow, that was truly amazing. I can hardly believe my ears. Where do you come up with lyrics like that? Truly inspirational."

"Well, I just sit back, and think to myself, what is the best way to convey a message of champagne, glamour, sex and respect? And then these lyrics just come to me. Contrary to what people may believe, I'm not all about the sexy. I also have brains to back it up."

"Well, your music certainly is a huge success. And I'm sure you will be too. When does your album go on sale?"

"Pleasureman hits stores tomorrow. So get over there now, because they will sell out fast. I guarantee you that people. So get to your stores soon, and but Pleasureman. I promise you. You will love it. It will be the greatest album that you have ever heard. So please. Buy it. Do it for Gunther. He wants you to"

"Well folks, you hear it here first. Gunther's brand new album, fast-tracked for early release, featuring his number one hit single, Ding Dong Song, and his brand new Crazy and Wild, which you heard first right here."

"Thanks for this interview Chris. It has been a good time"

"Oh Gunther. Thank you. It has been more than a good time. It has been a great time. Maybe the greatest time I've ever had on this radio station. Tell me something Gunther. Do you have any concerts in the works soon?"

"Well, Chris, at the moment there are no current plans for a tour. But I hope to go on a world tour sometime in the near future, maybe in a few weeks, after my album has made waves. But tomorrow night, I will be doing my first live performance at ClubGunther. There is very limited space, but if you come early, I just might be able to squeeze you in people."

"Well folks, again, you heard it here first. Gunther's first live performance tomorrow night at ClubGunther in Malmo, Sweden. I know it will be a good show. Again, thank you Gunther. Good luck in all of your future endeavours. I know I'll be hearing of you again, I can only hope that I will see you again one day."

"Thank you Chris. It has been a great time. Remember people. Champagne, Glamour, Sex and Respect. Much love. Gunther out"

"Words to live your life by folks. There goes a true legend of this business. Trust me on this one folks, that man has it all. You will be hearing about him for many years to come. Gunther is, wow, just wow."

Gunther walked out onto the street. He had to almost run to his limo to beat about the mob of girls who were yelling at him. But Gunther still never ran. He was never in a hurry. He used his moustache to make somewhat of a force field surrounding him, so that they couldn't get to him. He stepped into the limo. He stood out of the sunroof, and blew the girls a kiss. They all stopped chasing him, and quite a few actually looked like they had fainted. Oh well. That always seemed to happen with girls around him. But he was used to it by now. He was used to a lot of things. Popularity. Sex. Women. Money. Those were the things that he had always dreamed of having as a kid, growing up in an impoverished life. He had a name, what was it again? He couldn't remember. Soder-something? It didn't matter. He was Gunther now. And he would be forever known as Gunther.

"Excuse me sir, but are you Gunther?"

Gunther turned around. A middle-aged man was looking at him.

"Why yes. I am Gunther."

"Oh. That's great. How are you doing Gunther? How are things? Life is okay?"

"Well, yes, actually, my life is great. I have tons of money, I'm more famous than pretty much anyone in this world. I can have sex with literally any girl, anytime, anywhere if I so choose. And I just finished promoting my brand new album, which is going to become a number one best seller. So I'd say life is going pretty great."

"Wow, that sounds like your life is going just great. Can I ask you something personal? Were you born with the name Gunther? Or did you change it?"

"I wasn't born with it, I got it when I was reborn when I was nineteen. But I can't remember what my real name was. And why should I be telling this to you? I don't know you, you are a stranger to me"

"Well, Gunther. You might not believe me. But I am your father"




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Last week I fought for a title. The Undisputed Rising Star Championship. I didn't lose, but I didn't win either. I was merely stuck in the middle. After a devastating three legged drop to Matt Biggars, TJ came in and stole my victory. I give him credit. The kid put up a fight. I took him too lightly. I was having sex right up until the very beginning of my match. I wasn't mentally prepared. And TJ took advantage of that. It was a job well done. I applaud him. the best man won that night. Well, not the best man, since I have a moustache, and a mullet. I'm much more a man than either of my opponents were. That much is a fact. TJ Tilli and Matt Biggars will never be as manly as me. But that doesn't matter, because TJ beat me. I should have said the better fighter won. Because they did.

TJ, I didn't get a chance to respond to what you said. But this moustache holds more power than your mere mortal mind will ever be able to comprehend. I don't have this moustache so I can get laid. In fact, it was the fact that I could get laid that got me this moustache. Thanks to Exodia. So don't me insulting the moustache. Because if I were to harness the true power of it, you would be dead before you even knew what happened. Such is the power of the moustache of Exodia. So watch out what you call "gay".

This past week was a hard week for me. I spent a lot of it thinking about whether I really wanted to wrestle, or if I really just wanted to go and have sex for the rest of my life. And believe me. I could if I wanted to. But why don't I? Well, I have said this before, and I'll say it again.

I want to be the most famous person in the world. The most well known person who has ever graced this planet with their presence. Well, if you could call me a person. I gave up trying to figure out what I was a long time ago. I'm either a person, or I'm a god. But I'm not either. I'm like, stuck right in the middle. And it has had its ups and downs. Sure, I love being able to have sex with any girl I want, for my whole life. But sometimes, I find myself wondering if I really wanted this. About how different my life would be if I hadn't ever gone to the Moustache Temple. If I had never unlocked this "god" inside of me. Would I still be the nerd I always was? Or would I be better? Who knows? Do you know? The shadow knows.

But again, I decided to stay in wrestling. One, because, like I said, I want to be super famous. My music is already a worldwide sensation. It's incredible. People flock to my concerts in the millions. My album sold out within an hour of worldwide realease. That's pretty good if you ask me.

But there's another reason that I will not quit. Because I will not be seen as a quitter. I have never quit anything in my entire life. I was at the Temple of the Moustache for four years. Alone. With no one else except for my Master and Troy. It wasn't fun, but I did it, because I wanted it. I refused to give up. And after I finished, I got a job as a model. Just like I said I would. I wasn't going to quit on my dreams. I don't consider retiring from modelling, quitting. Because I chose that because I was at the top of the game. It got old. I found no joy in it. Nothing I did in modelling made me excited, or gave me pleasure in doing. I was a bored man. So I decided to open up a club at the same time. It was something that I thought would help me deal with the boredom of modelling. And it did. But I just couldn't stand modelling. So I retired. I was the most successful model ever. Then, I became the most successful club owner in the world. ClubGunther makes millions of dollars per year. It is consistently making money. There has never been a time where it had negative profits. ClubGunther could ask for the Queen to make an appearance, and she'd agree. It's that powerful. Music, well, I've already explained that. I still make songs. I just released a brand new Number 1 single last week. So I haven't given that up

But wrestling. Well, I'm sure everyone knows that I lost last week. First time I had lost. I don't like to lose. I don't think anybody likes to lose. But what can I do? I could have won if I tried harder. But I didn't, and I got careless. So I got what I deserved. A big L. But how could I quit so soon? Sure, my first two wins were against nobody spectacular. In fact, they were essentially wins against nobody at all. And then I got to face a guy who is better. Someone who, had I beat, would have given me a bit of credibility. But, I lost. And then I got put in a match with who?

Corey Casey

The most violent wrestler in the entire NLWF. The man who can literally spit and throw fireballs. Hate to break it to you Corey, but my moustache and I have faced a lot worse. But still. Corey Casey is a legend of the business. Even a guy like Gunther, who everyone thinks deems wrestling as his second, or third, or fourth hobby, knows the legend of Corey Casey. He has killed people, tortured people. There is not a man in this world who is more violent and disturbing than Corey Casey.

Notice how I said "man". That's because I'm no man. Corey, I'm coming for you. Exodia is coming for you. Death-Angel has Da Syco? Apollos has the Slayer? Well Gunther have Exodia. And, contrary to what everyone believes, He's learned to unleash it. He can control me.

When I said Gunther gave up, I wasn't kidding. Gunther didn't want to fight you. The only thing that could keep Gunther alive in this match was me. Have you realized why I am referring to Gunther in the third person? It's because I am Exodia. And I'm going to take you to fucking school Corey. You might be a deranged lunatic, who preys on souls or whatever the fuck it is you do. But I am a God. Im going to tear your balls off. I'm going to rip your throat out. I'm going to sit in the ring and torture you. The fun loving, always thinking about sex Gunther isn't with us for City of Evil. Instead, you Corey Casey, have to deal with a God who has been imprisoned for centuries. I can finally unleash the true wrath of Exodia, the Forbidden One. And I'm sorry that it had to be you Corey. But the most violent man in wrestling is going to fall victim to the most ruthless, angry God in the history of this earth. It's nothing personal Corey. But my takeover starts now. When The Master said that I could lead to the end of times, well, he wasn't kidding. And it all starts here.