History of the Moustache - Part 1

------------------------------------- May 14, 1993 -------------------------------------

A fifteen year old Mats Soderlund walked down a Swedish street one afternoon, in the year 1993. He was bored. He was hungry.

He rubben his bare face. He had always dreamed of having a moustache. It was something that had interested him for the last three years. He was young, but here in Sweden, you were never too young for a moustache.

He continued to walk down the road, when he saw a sign taped to a telephone pole. It almost seem to draw him in. He read it.

“To all aspiring models. We are looking for child models, aged 12-18, to model a new line of teenager leather jackets. Drop by our headquarters at Norra Vallgatan, and we will give you more details, and an audition time”

Mats looked at it. He felt a breeze pick up where he was standing. Could this be it? Could this be what he was destined to do? He had always dreamed of becoming famous for good looks. And now he had that chance. He was ecstatic. He ran home to tell his mother.

“Mother, I know what I want to do. I'm going to become a model”

Gunther's mother looked at him.

“Are you serious? That's really what you want to do? Gunther, you are only fifteen years old. How will you do any of it?”

“Mother, trust me. Its what I have wanted to do for a long time. I need to do this. I think it may be my destiny.”

“Well, if it's your destiny, who am I to stop you from it. You go right ahead Mats. If it is what you truly want, then I want it too. You are my son, my one true gift to this world.”

“Thank you mother. It's nice to know that you'll always be my best friend.”

“Oh Mats. You'll make friends. It's hard at first. It takes time. But eventually, you will. Trust me”

“Thanks mother. You are so kind.”

Mats went up to his room to change. He picked out the best looking clothes he had. It was hard, living in poverty with only his mother. His father had left before he was born, and left Mats's mother to take care of him alone. It was a hard life. Mats's mother worked two jobs, and often didn't come home for days at a time. He had learned to take care of himself, but it was still a difficult task. He was bullied at school. He wasn't popular. He wanted to be, more than anything in the world. He had promised himself that one day he would get wealthy and popular enough to move his mother into a bigger house, and let her do and have all those things that she had wanted. After all, Mats owed it to her, for all that she had done for him in these past fifteen years.

He grabbed his wallet and began the long walk downtown. He couldn't afford a car, his mother only had one old, beat-up one, and she needed it. And he had spent all his money on food, so he had nothing for the bus. So, he walked downtown. He wasn't too far from Norra Vallgatan, but it was far enough that he was sure to see some kids that he would know. Sure enough, about halfway there, he saw some kids from school. He took a deep breath. Here it came.

“Yo, Mats. Homo. What are you doing? Going to buy some more food? Hahaha. Poor people”

“Leave me alone guys”

“Why? What are you going to do about it?”

Mats just bowed his head, and waited for the inevitable. The three kids walked over, one of them grabbed him in a headlock, while the other took the advertisement out of Mats hand.

“No, don't touch that”

“What's this. Modelling? Hahahaha. Are you serious Mats? You're going to a modelling audition? That's one of the funniest things that I've ever heard. Mats. You are ugly. You're lame. Nobody is going to want to see you modelling anything. Go back to being poor.”

The kid holding Mats in a headlock pushed him to the ground. The kids all laughed while Mats picked himself up and continued on his walk downtown. That was what he was talking about. Kids who bullied him just because of his wealth. Yes, he was poor. That didn't make him any less than the other kids. But that's what they thought. And so they constantly picked on him for it. He tried to put it out of his head, but it was hard. Being bullied was challenging for anyone. He just hoped that he could get this modelling thing. He needed the extra cash, and this could also be the perfect way to propel him into fame.

He made it to the building, and walked inside. He looked around. It was bigger than any building he had ever been inside. The roof looked like it was seven stories high. He was in awe. This was the kind f place that he wanted to work at, to be at. He walked up to the front desk.

“Can I help you young man?”

Mats held out the advertisement that he had.

“I'm here for the modelling auditions.”

“Ah, yes, you are lucky, they are just finishing up. Go up those stairs, and it's the third door on your right”

“Thank you so much”

Mats followed her instructions, and found himself in a crowded room full of people, all roughly his age. He moved up to a person sitting at a desk.

“Hi, I'm here for the modelling auditions”

“What's your name?”

“Mats Soderlund”

“Date of birth?”

“March 3rd, 1978”

“How tall and what's your weight?”

“I'm about six feet tall, and weigh about 170 pounds.”

“Do you have any medical conditions?”

“Not that I'm aware of, no”

“Alright. Here's your number. Take a seat over there, and when we call your number, then you can go inside.”

“Thank you so so much”

“Ya, sure kid, just go sit down.”

Mats went and took a seat. He had made it. He was one step closer to fufilling his dream of becoming a man. A man who would be able to provide for his mother. He sat their and thought about what his life would be like if he were famous. He sat for about an hour, watching countless of people go in and come out.

“Number 69”

“That's me”

“You're up kid. Follow me”

Mats followed the man who called his number into the room. He saw two men and a woman sitting at a desk at the back of the room. There was a runway, to walk, and they were talking to each other. When he entered, they all stopped.

“You must be.....Mats Soderlund?”

“Yes, that is me”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Show us what you have planned”

Until that point, Mats haden't realized that he was going to have to this. He should have known that, because it was a modelling audition, that he would have to model, but he didn't even think about it. He had nothing planned. So he decided to just go with the flow.

He made up a catwalk routine as he went, strutting his stuff for the three people seated in chairs. He made up a routine as he went, and he thought it was pretty good. After he finished, he was told to wait outside, while the three of them made their picks. He sat, nervously, with about twenty other teenagers who had all tried out. When the names were called, he kept hoping he'd hear his name.

He never did.

They called ten names, none of which were his. He was shocked. And upset. He had come all this way, to wind up with nothing? So much for his destiny. He wanted to know why. He went up to one of the people making decisions.

“Hello, I just wanted to know why I didn't get the job.”

“You are....Mr. Soderlund, correct?”

“Yes, that is I”

“Right. Listen. You were very good. We liked you a lot. You were the very last person that we cut. But, the guy in front of you, well, he had a moustache. And everyone knows that moustaches are better. So we had to choose him over you. I'm sorry. Come back when you can grow a moustache.”

The man turned around and left, leaving Mats sitting there in shock. A moustache? He lost because he had no facial hair? It was his dream to have a moustache, but he didnt think it would interfere with his dreams like that. He needed that moustache, he'd do anything to have that moustache.

He walked outside. He began the sad walk home to see his mother. He didn't know how he would be able to tell her that he was a failure. He walked by an alleyway.

“Hey kid!”

Mats looked over, down the alley. A man stood in the shadows.

“Kid, come here a minute. I got a proposition for you”

Mats walked over to the man. He couldn't see his face, as the man was wearing a hoodie.

“Listen, I couldn't help but overhear, you didn't get that job as a model. Something about you not having a moustache?”

“Yes, they said that they gave it to the other man because he had a moustache”

“What would you say if I told you that I could offer you a chance to get a moustache?”

“I don't understand. You have to grow a moustache. You can't just get a moustache”

“A regular moustache yes. But not this moustache. Believe me kid, you'll want this one. You think anyone will be denying you a modelling career? Think again. The man you will train with is a master. He knows everything there is to know about the stache. You must listen to him, follow him, and you can be the ultimate moustachio”

“Why me? What's in it for you?”

“I was sent here by the master. You have a strong aura around you, young one. The master says you may even be the best young prospect he's ever seen”

“How does he know me? I don't think I've ever met him”

“He knows everything. That's why he's the Master. Believe me kid, coming with me will be the best thing that you ever do”

“What about my mother? I need to take care of her. I'm all she's got”

“Look kid. You want to make money to help your mom out of poverty? This is the only way that you will be able to do it. If you dedicate yourself to this, then you will have the fam and fortune that you always wanted.”

Mats thought about it. He knew that the man was right. This was the only way that he would ever be able to become rich and/or famous, and he really needed the money for his mother.

“Okay, I'll do it.”

“Excellent. There's a car waiting for you on the other side of this alley. It will take you to the airport, which will fly you to see the Master.”

“Fly? How far away is this guy?”

“Well, he lives in China. That's your new home.”

With that, the man turned and walked out of the alley, and vanished amidst the crowd of people walking.

Mats looked at the other side of the alley. Sure enough, there was a car, with a door open. He thought about it. If he went to that car, he would be leaving his whole life behind. Did he really want to that? He thought some more. What life? His entire life he had been insulted, been made fun of, ridiculed, humiliated. It was time to turn that around. He walked towards the end of the alley, and got in the car.

“Good choice”

Mats saw the man sitting in the drivers seat was none other than the man from the alley.

“But...wait..where....how did you get here?”

“Don't worry about it. Soon, you shall find out. It comes with lots of training”

He turned around, and began to drive towards the airport. Mats stared out at the city where he had spent his whole life. Soon, he'd have a new life.

They arrived at the airport, and Mats boarded a small private jet, en route to China. The whole time, Mats thought about what this would be like. He was going to train in moustache? What did that even mean.

A few hours later, they landed on a small airstrip, somewhere in China. They got into a car and drove off to a place located in the mountains, secretly tucked away from anyone to see. Figured, Mats thought. Every secret training facility was hidden away in some Chinese mountain.

They drove up to the main entrance, a towering doorway. The man looked at him.

“Are you ready? Once you go in, there's no turning back.”

“I think I am. Yes. I am ready”

The man pushed a password into a little box, and slowly the doors began to swing open. The man led Mats inside.

“Wait in that room. The Master will be down in a few minutes. He'll talk to you. My work is done. Good luck you you in your future Mr. Soderlund”

“Thank you. This place is massive.”

The man left, leaving Mats alone in the giant room. He began to walk around and look at everything on the walls. There were pictures of moustaches, and famous moustaches. There was a picture of Adolf Hitler, one of Josef Stalin, of Albert Einstein, Hulk Hogan. Just pictures of all the famous moustaches that had ever been in the world.

“You're admiring my handywork?”

Mats turned around.

“Well....ya, I was just looking around.”

An old man stood in the doorway. He was wearing a brown-coloured robe, and holding a big wooden staff. He had a moustache. But not just any moustache. What Mats thought was the most perfect moustache he had ever seen. It was long, grey, but just perfectly shaped. It was incredible.

“You must be Mats Soderlund”

“You must be the Master”

“Your observations are good. You have much promise my young friend.”

“I'm sorry, Master, but I just don't understand what I am doing here”

“And you may never fully understand why you are here. But yet, here you are”

“But why? Why me?”

“Well, I sensed a lot of potential coming from you. In fact, I sense it even more now that you are here.”

“So you are saying that I have some sort of force? Is this like Star Wars?”

“No, no, my friend. This is real. There is a moustache power dwelling inside you. It wants to be released. I'm here to help that happen. And once it does, I'll be here to help guide you through it. Its a long and powerful journey to be able to control your moustache, and use it for the greater good. You've seen what has happened to some. I trained Adolf, Stalin, and look what happened. They didn't complete the training. They decided to use their moustache for evil. But they could never use it fully. I give this speech to every new student I have, and only a few ever come out of the training successful. I hope that you will be one of them.”

“Can I ask you something? How old are you?”

“Oh, my friend, I supercede time. With the moustache, you can learn all sorts of things. Here. Come and punch me.”

“No, I don't want to do that.”

“No, you must trust me. You're going to be participating in a lot of training like this. Punch me in the face as hard as you can”

“Well, okay. If you insist.”

Mats wound back and punched the Master right in the mouth as hard as he could. The Master didn't even flinch. Mats pulled his hand back, shaking his fist. It stung a little. He looked at the Master, wide-eyed.

“How did you do that?! You didn't even flinch, and I hit you as hard as I could”

“The moustache block. It's one of the many things you will learn to do with your moustache. Today begins a long four years of training for you Mats Soderlund. Are you ready to begin?”

“I...I...yes. I am ready Master”

“Good. Now I want you to sit in the centre of the room.”

Mats walked over to the centre of the room and sat down.

“Now what?”

“Close your eyes, put this mask on, and will yourself to have a moustache”

Mats took the mask and looked at him

“Ummm. Will myself? How exactly do I do that?”

“You must use your mind. If you truly have what it takes, you will understand how to do it. Focus on the moustache. Make yourself one with the gods.”

Mats sat there. He put the mask on. He closed his eyes. He thought about the moustache.

“You aren't focusing. You are merely thinking about it. You need to focus on it. Focus!”

Mats closed his eyes. He thought again. But this time, he tried to focus on the moustache. The one thing that he had always dreamed of. The one thing that cost him a job modelling, a thing that he had always wanted to do. If he had that moustache, the possibilities would be endless. He focused as hard as he could.

And suddenly. He saw it. It was perfect. Right in from of him. He could reach it. No, it was coming towards him. It flew past him, and vanished. Mats opened his eyes.

“Where did it go?! I could see it!”

The Master was smiling at Mats.

“Go to the mirror and take off your mask”

Mats got up and walked over to the mirror. He slowly removed his mask.

And he saw.

And he believed.

In that mirror, he saw on his face, the most perfect moustache he could have imagined. It was the one from his vision a few moments ago. He reached up and touched it. It was real alright. He could not believe it.

“How, how did this happen?”

“You believed. And when you believe in the moustache, and you have the right power, it will happen. Turn around, I must see what moustache the gods have graced you with”

Mats turned around, and watched as the Master's facial expression turned from one of great joy to that of total shock.

“What? What is it Master?”

“Oh. It's....nothing. Don't worry about it. Come follow me to your room. You'll be living here for the next four years”

Mats followed the Master, who led him into a fairly big room in an area of the temple. His room had a bed, a desk, a TV, a couch, a bathroom. Pretty much everything that Mats needed. He was pretty surprised.

“I thought that these kind of things, the people didn't have any electronics or any luxuries?”

“I'm not training you to become a kung-fu master. I'm training you in the way of the moustache. I like my students to be as relaxed as possible.”

“Speaking of students, where does everyone else stay? Do they all have rooms like this?”

“Oh, I only train one at a time. I have many people working here, and practising, but you are my only student. It's easier to teach and train. Goodnight Mats. Tomorrow begins day one of a long, but well-worth journey.”

The Master turned and shut the door behind him. Mats walked around his room. It was really nice. He had more than he had in his entire house in this one room. It was almost as big as his house. He walked around for a while, before turning on the television. He found that it had many channels, in many different languages. His goal was to eventually learn how to speak great english, so this would be a big help.

After a few hours of watching TV, he decided that it was time to go to sleep. But, as he lay in bed, he found that he could not fall asleep. He got up. He figured that if he walked around for a while, that he would shake that feeling. He quietly opened the door and began to wander.

After a while, he heard some voices. He followed them until he figured out where they were coming from. A room, with a door that was slightly opened. He peered through the crack. Inside, he saw the Master, along with the man who had brought him here. He listened hard.

“Master, are you certain about this?”

“Troy, I have never been more certain in my life. Look here, the moustache in this picture matches the one that Mats has exactly”

“But this is the moustache of Exodia, the Forbidden One. The one who once spoke that he would return, in an unknown human form. You think we have him right here?”

“And one day, I will make my triumphant return, in the form of a human. The only distinguishing feature will be my moustache. But all of my powers will be the same. I will rise to glory once again.”

“And that's the direct section from the Book of Moustache?”

“Word for word”

“So you think that he's locked somewhere inside of Mats?”

“I do. We need to do everything in our power to not let him get out. Have you heard any of the tales of Exodia?”

“I'm not familiar with any tales, but I know he was a lustful god”

“Exodia was the most lustful god. He is not known in the history of gods, for precisely the reason that he was so lustful. He invented adultery. He used his dashing good looks to attract any and every woman that was near him. He had sexual intercourse with every woman, goddess or human. He was that lustful”

“So what happened to him?”

“The other gods thought he was too much. They didn't want to deal with him. So they tore him apart in five pieces. Hid those pieces all around the world. The only way for him to be brought back together, was to have all five parts brought together, inside the Shadow Realm. After which, his spirit would be released into the real world, and be able to take over any life form”

“And you think this happened?”

“I knew four parts were gone. I thought the fifth part was safe. But apparently I was incorrect.”

“Where is the fifth part located?”

Mats watched as the Master pushed down on the head of a statue in the room, and a little part of the wall opened up. They looked inside. Mats tried to see what they were looking at. When they finally moved, he saw. Nothing.

“My worst fear has been confirmed”

“How could someone have taken the part from here? I've been here for ten years, and I never knew that was even here”

“I don't know Troy. But it happened. We need to never tell Mats of this. If he finds out, the Exodia spirit inside of him might be unlocked. And, while it may seem good at first, it could ultimately lead to the end of days”

Mats quietly stepped away from the door, and tip-toed back to his room. He lay down in bed. He was a god? How could this be? He never felt any different. Just like any normal kid would. He didn't feel that there was any god-like powers in him. He lay there. Maybe it was because this “Exodia” hadn't gotten out yet. He was still trapped deep inside Mats, just biding his time, waiting to make his move. He knew he wasn't out yet. He didn't have the urge to have sex with everyone. Nor did anyone want to have sex with him. He knew that deep down, Exodia was still trapped. He closed his eyes, and fell asleep with the thoughts of Exodia running through his mind. Tomorrow began the first day of a long road of training.


------------------------------------- Four Years Later -------------------------------------


“Alright Mats, lets see it. Ready, go!”

Mats ran forward, and stopped at the door, which required a key. He crouched down, and twisted his face around, opening the lock with his moustache. He ran through the door, and was immediately met with three men in ninja suits. He began to throw punches and kicks at his face, which he managed to block with his moustache. He used the moves he had learned from the Master, and easily knocked them out of the way. He kept running. A man was sitting there. He looked at Mats and smiled. He lit a huge match, and spit what was in his mouth at Mats. A fireball shooting straight at him. Mats got his moustache to deflect it just in time, and send it right back at him. The last room he entered had a man in it. Mats had to make him say something. So far, in every single training run he had ever been a part of, nobody could make him say what he was supposed to.

He stared at the man, who stared right back. Mats focused as hard as he could, concentrating the entire power of his moustache into the mans eyes. He sensed the man faltering. He pushed harder. He channeled his energy as best he could.

“Say it!”

“I...I...Tutti Frutti Summer Love. You win. I said it. You are the best”

The man collapsed, as Mats turned around and saw both the Master and Troy looking at him, shock. Troy more so than the Master.

“You...you made him say it.”

“It would seem that way, wouldn't it?”

“No one has ever done that. Ever. Not even me.”

“Well, it appears that it has just been done”

The Master looked at Mats and smiled.

“Mats Soderlund. Congratulations. You have officially completed my training program. You are one of the very few who have gone the whole way. Not only that, but you have more power than I could ever dream of. You may pack up your things and go. Your work here is done. Go out into the world.”

“Thank you Master. I owe it all to you. You have trained me better than I could have ever imagined.”

“Thank you. My son, before you go. No longer shall you be known as Mats Soderlund. From this day forth, you go by the name Gunther”

“Gunther...I like it. Thank you Master”

“Now go! Pack up, and I will meet you out front.”

Gunther ran back to his room. He was now 19 years old, and ready to go back into the world. He missed his mother. He wanted to go out and make her that money that he had promised. And now that he could control the moustache and all its powers, nothing would stop him.

As he walked down the hall, he felt a really cold breeze. He looked in the direction it came from. A door was open. He walked over to it. He knew what it was instantly. It was the room that held the Book Of Moustache. The room that he had overheard Master and Troy talking about Exodia four years ago. He looked around. Nobody was there. He decided then and there that he wanted to look. He pushed down on that head of the statue. Sure enough, a spot in the wall opened up. Gunther looked inside.

And he saw



Gunther stared at the picture of the head. He began to shake violently. Gunther fell to the floor, as the entire temple began to tremble. Parts of the roof were starting to fall down. The Master and Troy ran into the room. They saw Gunther, lying on the ground, still shaking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. They looked at the open part in the wall.

“Good god almighty. Do you think that this is Exodia being released Master?”

The Master just stared at Gunther

“Master, what do we do!? We have to get out of here! Master!”

The Master just continued to look at Gunther.

“Theres nothing we can do. May god have mercy on this young mans soul”

Troy started to run out of the temple, but he never made it. The entire side of the mountain collapsed, and fell to the river beneath it. They never stood a chance.

Gunther opened his eyes. He was lying in the middle of a field. He sat up. He looked around. Where was he? It was a school yard. But he was supposed to be in China. He had just finished his training. He reached up, and felt his moustache. Still there. He focused it on the grass, and burnt a spot. He still had the power. But what had happened. Why was he here? He looked back at the school.

“Shit”

This was his old school in Sweden. The one where he was always bullied. Surely everyone would remember him. The ones who still went here. But, he had the power of the moustache. He knew that everything would be alright. He heard a voice.

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. If it isn't our old friend, Mats. We thought you died. Haven't seen you in four years. And now you decide to come back? Well, we have a lot of beating up to do”

They approached Gunther

“I don't think so.”

They stopped and laughed at him

“Excuse me? Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?”

He swung his fist right at Gunthers face. Moustache block. The one who punched pulled his hand back, shaking it.

“What the fuck!? He didn't flinch!”

His friends all started punching his face. Nothing. But Gunther started to feel something. Something he hadn't felt when he was training at the moustache temple. A rage was welling up deep inside of him, and it was beginning to surface. He couldn't stop it.

“Now you see what happens when you fuck with me!”

He didn't say that. Someone inside of him said it. But it came out of his mouth. He couldnt believe it.

He grabbed one of the guys by the throat, and began to choke him. Just before the kid passed out from lack of air, Gunther released him, and kicked him as hard as he could in the balls. And it was hard. Gunther had done a lot of self-defense training at the moustache temple, but this went above and beyond what he had learned. The kid dropped, crying.

Gunther looked over at the other two kids, who just stared at him, before running away, crying as well.

Gunther began to walk back towards where his home was. He was thinking about what happened. That wasn't like him. He didn't have that kind of confidence, he had only learned self-defense. But he had done that. He felt weird. He felt good. Better than he had ever felt in his entire life. He walked up to the door and knocked. Someone answered.

“Hi, can I help you?”

Gunther didn't recognize the woman who answered. He cleared his throat.

“Do you live here now? This used to be my house, my mother lived here. I moved away four years ago.”

“Oh. No one told you?”

“Told me what?”

“I'm really sorry. Your mother passed away last year. I thought somebody would have told you. I'm sorry”

She closed the door and returned to her life. Gunther stood on the front porch for a few minutes. His mom had died. And he hadn't even said goodbye to her four years ago. But it was weird. He didn't feel bad. He felt, nothing really. In fact, there was a feeling that was welling up inside of him, a feeling that he wasn't familiar with. He felt like he wanted to take his anger out. On a woman. But not like, attack her. He wanted a woman. To help him calm down. He was feeling lustful.

Just like Exodia felt.

Gunther couldn't believe it. It was true. There was something inside him. And it was taking over his mind and body. But, he liked it. He enjoyed feeling this way. He felt happy, he felt good. He felt desirable. He felt more confident. There seemed to be an aura about him, a female-attracting aura. And he wanted sex. Lots of it. He couldn't help himself. He just felt it.

He walked down the street. He could feel the attraction surrounding him. He walked back to the place where he had been rejected as a model. As he made his way, he could hear and see all the women stop and stare. He heard screams, he heard shouts, he heard cries. And he took it all in. He loved it. This was something unlike he had ever felt in his entire life. All those years of getting beat up and bullied. Now he was, technically, a “Sex God”.

He remembered what the Master had said way back in the day. That they must allow this Exodia to make his way into Gunther's mind and body. He said that it would be dangerous, and possible lead to the End of Days. But Gunther didn't feel that way. He just felt sexually powerful. Girls seemed to want him all of the sudden. Was it the moustache? Was it the big glasses? Or was it simply because this Exodia being within him created this aura? Gunther didn't think he would ever truly know. But he did know one thing for sure. He liked this feeling. And he wasn't going to change it, or try and fight it. He was going to accept it. Embrace it. There would no longer be an Exodia inside of Gunther. There would just be a Gunther. And he would feel just like he was feeling now.

He made it to the building. He walked up to the reception booth. Nobody was there, so he walked back to where he remembered the auditions to be. He walked in. He saw the three people that had judged him four years ago. Was it coincidence that they were all still there, in this exact same spot, at the exact same time as Gunther had decided to go and confront them? Or was it fate? Gunther knew it was fate. He walked up to them. They turned and looked at him.

“Can we help- Whoa!”

“Do you remember me?”

“No, but wow, where did you come from? You are amazing!”

“Four years ago, I auditioned for a job here, and you guys took a man with a moustache over me. Here I am, back with a moustache. This moustache has been through more than you have in your entire lives. You will give me a job.”

Gunther focused his moustache energy towards the three of them. He didn't need to, he just wanted to make sure that he still had it. He did.

“Of course we'll give you a job. You will become our new top model. You're amazing. We'll pay you top dollar. Nothings too good for you, Mr. Gunther”

“Thank you. You will never regret this. I promise you that. This is a great day for your company. I am the best. Look at me. I am the sexiest. I am the most attractive. I also can will any woman my way”

“We can tell.You truly are amazing Gunther. When can you start?”

“I can start whenever you pay me. I only model for money. And fame. The sex is already included with my amazing good looks.”

“Yes, yes, well, we can pay you to start right now, if that's okay?”

“It is more than okay. It is just excellent. I will start. But I will only model clothes that make me look sexy. So I choose what I do and don't model”

“Of course Gunther. We would never dream of making you wear something that didn't highlight your sexiness. You will choose all that you wear and don't wear.”

“Thank you. I won't let you down. Well, that much is already obvious. But with me as your main man, you will become more popular that you could have ever imagined.”

“Oh, don't think that we don't know it. You are perfect. Exactly what we are looking for. May I suggest one thing though, that would make you look even sexier?”

“You may suggest it, but I won't guarantee that I will agree with it.”

“Well, I was thinking. What if you cut your hair, in a mullet? It's 80s, but the way you look, you would definately rock it. In fact, it would probably be the greatest mullet in the history of mankind.”

Gunther thought about it. He looked at himself in the mirror. A mullet would be perfect. It would complete him. He loved it.

“That's a faboulous idea. I would look dashing in a mullet”

“I couldn't agree more sir. Now, if you'll step over here, we have the best hairdresser in all of Sweden, who will fix you up. And of course, if you don't like it, we can have him killed.”

“Lets see what he can do then.”

Gunther walked over to a room with a single chair, and sat down. A nervous looking man walked out of a doorway. He stood behind Gunther and looked at his hair.

“Ah, yes. I can make a perfect mullet with this hair. This is the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. You are one lucky man.”

“I'm no man. I'm the Sex God”

“You certainly are. You are truly a spectacle.”

“Much appreciated. Now lets get cutting”

Gunther sat there, as the man cut his hair. He enjoyed this new persona. It made him feel, powerful. He felt important. Like he actually belonged in this world now. He wasn't going to let that change. It was too exciting and new, and awesome for him. But he was missing something. He craved sex, and he hadn't had any yet. He was technically still a virgin, but Exodia wasn't. So he wasn't sure how that actually worked.

“There. All done. What do you think?”

The man looked at him nervously. He hoped that Gunther liked it.

He did.

“This is spectacular. It highlights my entire face. My moustache really stands out. Thank you Mr. Hair Dresser.

“Oh, it was my pleasure Gunther. My pleasure indeed.”

Gunther walked over to a rack of clothes. He was ruffling through it, when all of the sudden, a light seemed to shine on one spot. He pulled out a thick leather jacket. He stared at it. It was perfect. Inside were a matching pair of leather pants. He held it up and showed it to the people surrounding him.

“I will model this. And only this. And I get to keep it”

“Done and done. If you'll come over here, and we'll get a few photos.”

Gunther followed them over to an area, to get a few photos taken. He knew that they would be good. After about twenty minutes of photo taking, they decided on one to use, not just for an advertisement, but as the symbol for the entire company.



Gunther looked at the photo and smirked. It was a great photo. But of course it was. It was of him. Gunther stopped for a moment. Look at him. Two days ago, he had the confidence of a groundhog. Now he felt like the most confident man in the world. Of course he was. Look at him. He was Gunther. Not Exodia. He was Gunther, the Sex God. He had every right to be confident. But there was one more thing he needed to do.

Gunther walked outside, wearing the leather jacket and pants. As he walked by, he could hear the moans from the women as he passed by. He blew a few of them kisses. But nothing out of the ordinary. He saw one particularly attractive woman looking at him. He walked up to her.

“Excuse me lady. I noticed that you were looking at me.”

“Well, yes, I mean, you're just so attractive. That mullet, those glasses. And that moustache. Its the greatest moustache in the whole world. I don't know why, but I am extremely attracted to you, and extremely horny for you.”

“Well lady, it happens to everybody. I'm just a sexy guy, what can I say? I'm the Sex God”

“Ya, you must be, because I have never felt so sexually attracted to someone in my whole life.”

“Well, shall we get to it then?”

“Oh yes please. Please!”

Gunther walked off with the woman, for the first of many, many, many, many sexual adventure. It was sure to be a good life for Gunther. A very good life indeed.