You Wont Even Be Able To Scratch Your Fuckin Balls

by Guest July 20th 2009, 4:57 pm

-+- You Wont Even Be Able To Scratch Your Fuckin Balls -+-
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Time : 6:18pm
Location : Hotel Room
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I just heard about the news. Notorious Kid would be in the Triple Cage Match. Nobody said shit. Nobody cared. Thats the thing. A jobber gets added to the match and nobody complains. However, James Shark gets added into the match and everybody goes crazy, just ask Aaron O'Shea, he could barley keep his pants on. I chuckled. I figured out why. A jobber gets added in, everyones happy, it doesnt give them less of a chance of winning, it gives them a chance to beat the holy hell out of that jobber. Notorious Kid is gonna have one long night. However James Shark gets added in, everyone complains, why?, it does give them a less chance of winning, it gives them a rare chance of winning, and Im a big threat to everyone in the match, and outside of the match.

(Knock Knock Knock)

I turned around and looked at the door. I got up from the bed and put a shirt on, I then slowly opened the door to find a midgit, bald, four eyed. I chuckled. He looked up at me, he looked up at me for awhile, I didnt know if he was afraid or amazed. It had to be one of the two, but most likely it was both.

James Shark
What do you want little man?

His eyes grew wide. He was very surprised to hear me call him that. Maybe he thought I would be respectfull, I shaked my head, giving him a weird look, he wasnt saying anything.

Ugly Midgit
Well Mr.Shark, I have recieved a few papers for you sent in by the No Limits Wrestling Federation. Are you some sort of wrestler?

Some sort of wrestler?, what was this guy thinking?, I ignored the question and snatched the papers out of his hand, I was then about to shut the door but he stuck his foot out and the door bounced back, I turned to face him, and he stuck his hand out, I guess asking for a tip.

James Shark
What the fuck do you want man?

Ugly Migit
Well you see sir, your on the very top floor, It was a long journey to get up here, I tried the elevator, but I could not reach the buttons, I then tried the stairs, but it felt like a really tall ladder, and Im afraid of heights ever since my mother had read the story, Jack and the Beanstalk, I have always been afraid of... giants.

He looked up at me, shaking, I rolled my eyes.

James Shark
So how in bloody hell did you get all the way up here.

Ugly Midgit
Well you see Sir, like I had stated in my last comment, it was a very long jou-

James Shark
Ya ya, long journey, I get it, how the hell did you get up here?

Ugly Midgit
It was all thanks to my friend here..

I turned my head to the side to find a muscular man, he had a big smile on his face, he was a staff member with the hotel, he was wearing the shirt, so I figured.

James Shark
You had to carry him?

Muscular Man
Oh yes sir. Indeed I did. Indeed I did. It wasnt easy, we had to stop for washroom breaks.

James Shark
Riiiiiight

I didnt want anything to do with this freak show, I slowly backed away and shut the door in their face, and locked it, locked it because you dont trust no bald four eyed midgit with a tie, and his friend the incredible hulk. I jumped over to the bed, and sat down, and made myself comfterble, and I began flipping through the papers NLWF had sent me, only to find special events taking place, arena switches, notices, and other junk, I shook my head, I was hoping for somthing important, I then got to the last sheet, it was an update to the Ressurection of Respect Triple Cage Match, I looked down at the card to see what had been changed, and my eyes grew wide, I couldnt believe it, I was confused, and I was pissed off.

James Shark
Jamean Who??

I turned over and looked right at the camera, I showed the camera the sheet, and I left the sheet over ontop of a table, I then looked back at the camera

James Shark
Im gonna save that garbage for later, I may need somthing to wipe my ass with.

I shook my head in anger, and walked over to a comfterble couch, looking right at the camera, I was so mad, so dissapointed in the NLWF.

James Shark
Is NLWF fried?, how could they come up with such a peice of shit decision, first Notorious Kid, and now another excuse for a black man.

I was so angry, I couldnt believe it.

James Shark
Nobody gets mad when a jobber is added, nobody gives a shit, but me?, I do, you know why?, it gives them an excuse to speak my name.

I rolled my eyes and began to mock them.

James Shark
"Oooh guess what, I was in the ring with James Shark!"
"Oh my god, can you believe that I touched James Shark!, I did, believe it or not!"
"James Shark!, James Shark!, James Shark!"

I looked right at the camera, and it zoomed into me.

James Shark
Like shuuuut the fuuuuuck up. You may think getting added to the match is gonna be your big break, and it will, just not the way you think it will be, break as in your gonna be having a BIG Vacation from being an NLWF Superstar, your gonna be laying in a hospital bed, and the worst part, your gonna be so sore, you wont even be able to scratch your fucking balls.

I nodded my head. Up and down.

James Shark
Ya thats right Jamean whoever the fuck you are, Im reffering to you and Notorious Kid. You two should have a death wish being added into that match with the best wrestlers in the world, along side the very best wrestler in the world.. James Shark.

I stood up now.

James Shark
You two arnt even in my level. I mean I caught your promo earlier today Kid. Cogratulations. You fucked the ugliest women that you could have possibly fucked. You got her pregnant because you bought an extra large condom when it should've been extra extra extra small, and now your stuck as a daddy, sharing your soon to be butt ugly martian, with the hairy beast you call your wife.

I began to clap.

James Shark
Cogratulations to you sir, and when your butt ugly martian grows up and asks you what was your most famous momment in NLWF History, you tell that ugly son of a bitch that it was when you got your teeth knocked down your throat by the one the only, James "Motherfuckin" Shark.

The camera man began to give me some signals

James Shark
Oh Im swearing too much huh? well who the fuck cares, whos gonna stop me?, the professional wrestling police?, I dont think so, you hold that camera and you fucking film, film till Im done you heard bitch?

The camera man nodded and I shook my head.

James Shark
Oh and Jamean how about you, lets see, I was really tired one day, but I just couldnt sleep, Lillian suggested that I watch some boring promo, I was gonna choose Aaron O Shea, but then I figured, nahh, Aaron O Shea's promos are great to throw popcorn at and luagh at the number of times he chokes, so then I started thinking, hmmm, boring promos, and ding ding ding, we have a winner, I picked a random wrestler from NLWF.Com, I saw the face that looks like that shit that comes out of my ass, and long behold, it was an ugly nigguh who goes by the name of Jamean Jaxon. So congartulations to you sir, congratulations to your boring promos and your pathetic wrestling ability.