Rookie 2 Legend: Week 1

-Tuesday, June 8th 2010-
-Moving Day-

The show begins with all of Team Ridicule standing outside looking at the two houses, stuck together, separated only by a metal bar fence that split’s the two houses down the middle. James Shark steps forward, then throws his bags on the ground in front of him.

James Shark
Now that’s what I’m talking about!

★ ★ ★

James Shark smiles wide, then removes his shades.

James Shark
When I saw the houses, I knew this was going to be a legit show, and I’m too legit to quit nigguh! I knew immediately that all of these Casper looking motherfuckers would try to get the best room, so I had to be the one in front. Not only that but a few blocks away is a Kentucky Fried Chicken! NIGGUHS GOTTA EAT RIGHT?

James Shark puts his shades back on and smiles again.

★ ★ ★

James Shark
As Team Captain of Team Ridicule, and first selection, I call dibs on the first choice of rooms! Yawl nigguhs need to get in line behind me!

Matt Biggars
Dude, I’m not sure if you’re color blind, but I’m white. Actually…

Matt Biggars looks around at all the members of Team Ridicule.

Matt Biggars
We’re all white but you, stop calling us niggers.

James Shark
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars is in the interview room sitting on the couch with his palm on his face.

Matt Biggars
Oops.. I kinda let the “N” word slip out, but that nigger kept saying it! Oops, I did it again!

★ ★ ★

James Sharks moves towards Matt Biggars and shoves him. Quickly the other team members step in and separate the two men. Chad Mason and FaceKid hold back James Shark while James Sane and Brain Savage calm down Matt Biggars who shrugs his shoulders.

The Infamous TODD
Aw, SHIT!

James Shark
Don’t touch me! Fools!

James Shark pushes away and walks towards the house. He makes it to the front door and tries to open it.

James Shark
WHAT!?

He continues trying to open the door but it’s locked.

James Shark
ISN’T TODAY MOVING DAY?

Matt Biggars gets back inside the van as he watches James Shark, trying to get inside.

Matt Biggars
Like, why are you yelling?

James Shark
I CAN’T GET IN FOOL! THE DOOR IS LOCKED!

Chad Mason walks over to the front door and pulls a note off of it.

Chad Mason
You must not have seen this while you were trying to break in.

James Shark
You got jokes? I see, well what does it say smart guy?

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
I am the smartest man in ASWA, so it’s no wonder I found that note, just like I’ll find a way back into this competition!

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
It’s from Nick, it says that none of us deserve to step inside the Rookie 2 Legend house yet…

James Shark snatches the note out of Chad Mason’s hand and smacks him to the back of his head.

James Shark
I’m team captain! I’ll read the note, and I’ll do it with confidence, unlike a guy from the loser team, like you nigguh!

James Shark looks at the note and tries to read it.

James Shark
You… Ha.. Have.. Not…

★ ★ ★

James Shark
I know what y’all are thinking.. That nigguh can’t read! But you’re wrong, I know how to read! I know how to read good and shit! It’s just his handwriting was hard to read! Nick Ridicule doesn’t know how to write, that’s why I couldn’t read the note!

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
When you said you’ll read the note, I assumed you actually knew how to read.

James Shark
Shut up fool! The note says he wants us to break into the house and wait for him to arrive, it also says that James Shark is the greatest and is the best team captain ever! It also says that because he knows I’m going to win the entire competition, making him look like a coach and not a pussy whooped emotional bitch, he’s letting me pick rooms first!

James Shark crumples up the note in his hands, then tosses it over his shoulder, into the bushes.

James Shark
Who’s gonna help me break in!?

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
We all knew that’s not what the note said, and that James Shark couldn’t read, but nobody wanted to deal with that ignorant nig… person. Luckily for us, we didn’t have to because Nick Ridicule arrived!

★ ★ ★

A van arrives parking behind the van that brought the wrestlers. The sliding door in the back opens and Nick Ridicule steps out, followed by Ashley Ridicule. Three coaches walk around and join them as they walk towards the house.

Nick Ridicule
What the hell is going on? I said in my note, stay away from the house and leave your bags inside the van!

Nick Ridicule picks up a bag and throws it at the Team Ridicule van. He looks around at everyone as Ashley Ridicule smiles.

★ ★ ★

Ashley Ridicule
Nick has been is such a bad mood since losing to Matt Gray at Trial by Combat. I feel like I let him down by not being there, because I was stuck in Cuba. Since that loss he’s been taking it out on everyone, not me, but fans, friends. He hasn’t been his usual self, he’s been such a cocky prick, and I would be lying If I said it wasn’t a total turn on.

Ashley Ridicule giggles her cheeks turning a rosy red shade.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule picks up another bag and throws it at the van. James Shark rips the glasses off his face and runs down the steps from the house, then across the walkway towards Nick Ridicule who doesn’t notice him.

Nick Ridicule
Because none of you are going into that house until you train at Elite Death Toll today, and show that you belong on this show, that you belong in the NLWF!

James Shark approaches Nick Ridicule, then grabs his shoulder and spins him around. Nick Ridicule and James Shark stands face to the face.

James Shark
Don’t my bag G.

Nick Ridicule
Or what? You’re going to get your ass kicked by me again? I’m really fucking scared pal, seriously I am, but you need to shut the fuck up, and get the fuck out of my face.

Nick Ridicule palm thrusts James Shark to the chest and pushes him back, then leaves his hand held out.

The Infamous TODD
AW, SHIT! FORCE FACE CLAW!

Nick Ridicule looks around at all of his team members, then he smiles for the first time.

Nick Ridicule
We’re going to go on a five mile run to the Death Toll warehouse, then we’re going to train all day, until I decide this team is deserving of being part of Death Toll Elite, you will be treated exactly like what you are, nothing. You have a forty minute maximum to get to the warehouse, if you aren’t there in time, you’ll be dropped from Team Ridicule. LET’S GO!

Nick Ridicule pulls his shirt off and tucks it into his shorts, then runs off down the road, which loops around behind the houses. Ashley Ridicule is the first to follow him and she catches up and runs alongside him.

James Shark
Y’all got jokes right?

Matt Biggars runs off down the road following Nick and Ashley Ridicule, then the rest of Team Ridicule follows, leaving James Shark standing in his suit, holding his sun glasses.

James Shark
I DON’T BELIEVE THIS SHIT!

James Shark pulls off his jacket, the folds it in his arms and puts it on the ground. He pulls off his t-shirt, then begins unbuckling his belt.

★ ★ ★

James Shark stands in his underwear inside the interview room, his arms crossed.

James Shark
Make a nigguh run? Is that it? I get it. Ha fucking ha…

★ ★ ★

James Shark takes his pants off, then his dress shoes and he runs trying to catch up with the others. The shot cuts to the front of the pack, Nick Ridicule and Ashley Matthews running side by side, Matt Biggars and Katina Costick following close behind them, with FaceKid keeping up with them.

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
FaceKid was able to stay close to Kat and I, which made me super uncomfortable. I was the middle of an ex’s sandwich! Being close to FaceKid and Kat at the same time brought back some bad memories. Memories of Kat coming to find me late at night, early mornings, whenever she needed me to tell me something he had done to her. She just wouldn’t let me at him, she also made excuses for him or said, “I don‘t want Zombiehead to fall apart.” That fucker killed Zombiehead as soon as she dumped his lame ass. She still refuses to let me kill him. She cares a lot about me, and I care for her with all my heart.

★ ★ ★

Further down the road are, Chad Mason, The Infamous TODD, and James Sane, keeping around the same speed and starting to breath heavy. James Shark runs down the road in his boxer shorts trying his best to catch up, mumbling to himself as he runs.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
These guys are going to think I’m being hard on them, but we do this five mile run every morning, and not at nine o’clock either, we’re up at five in the morning! I’m not on this show to make friends, I’m here to win as a team and I’m here to get one of these guys into the NLWF as the winner of Rookie 2 Legend. Trust me, they’ll hate me now, but once they get past the hard times, they’ll be stronger and greater because of it!

★ ★ ★

James Sane
About one mile into the run, I was exhausted. If this is the kind of camp Nick Ridicule runs on a daily basis, I’m gonna be dead by the end of this TV program.

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
I’m not sure what the big deal was with the other participants. Kat and Ashley ran the five miles, and we do this before every training session. Five miles in thirty minutes.

★ ★ ★

Still running, trying to catch up to the others, James Shark huffs and puffs. He looks at the camera, running but hardly lifting his legs off the ground, then pants as he speaks.

James Shark
I…. Hate… This… Team…

James Shark stomps running and bends forward., putting his hands on his hips. He throws up on the road and looks up at the sky, wiping his mouth off.

James Shark
But… I’ve… Still… Got… My… Confidence… NIGGUHS!

James Shark drags his legs trying his best to keep going.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
I knew the five mile run was going to show me who has heart and the determination to be part of this and win, or who doesn’t and is just here to get on TV.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule, Ashley Matthews, Matt Biggars, Katrina Costick, and FaceKid all arrive at the Elite Death Toll warehouse.

Nick Ridicule
Well done.

Nick Ridicule takes a deep breath in through his nose, then out of his mouth. He looks at his watch and smiles.

Nick Ridicule
Twenty seven minutes. Now we wait for the others.

As soon as Nick Ridicule says that, Brain Savage arrives.

Nick Ridicule
Great work.

★ ★ ★

Brain Savage
As many of you know, I am the half brother of Death Angel. We haven’t spoken in a long time, and I want to keep it that way. I know he trains at Elite Death Toll on occasion, so I’m hoping I don’t have to deal with him. Anyway, I believe I impressed everyone by keeping up with them.

★ ★ ★

A mile down the road Chad Mason is stopped, sitting in the grass on the side of the street. The Infamous TODD quickly runs by him at top speed, flipping him off on the way by.

The Infamous TODD
Ha ha if Dustin Ford is injured they’ll bring me back to the show for running the fastest!

Chad Mason shoots up to his feet and skip runs closing the distance between him and TODD.

The Infamous TODD
Aw, Shit! Now it’s a race! The tortoise versus the hare. Mano-a-mano!

Chad Mason
Midget versus genius!

Chad Mason hurries past The Infamous TODD, who sticks his foot out and trips him. Chad Mason falls down on his stomach and face in the road.

The Infamous TODD
Ha Ha fucker!

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
Midgets freak me out, and this one was the creepiest I’ve ever seen! Although he was right about hurrying to the warehouse. If Dustin Ford is injured, it could be my opportunity back into this competition!

★ ★ ★

James Sane is walking down the road looking around. He looks ahead, using his hand as a visor over his eyes to block out the sun.

James Sane
HELLO? Guys? Where the hell is everyone? Am I going the right way?

James Sane turns around and looks behind him and looks down the road but it’s completely empty.

James Sane
I think I made a wrong turn!

James Sane starts running, looking around panicked.

James Sane
FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK MY LIFE!

★ ★ ★

James Sane
Stuff like this is always happening to me. Like Ultimate Glory for example. I enter the Ultimate Glory battle royal and get back body dropped off the stage by Brenton Cyrus. OFF THE STAGE! That’s a fifteen foot fall onto cement! I thought my back was broken, I feared my career was over, I didn’t ever think that two hours later I would get up and realize I was one of the last men standing in the match, the final two, with Brenton Fucking Cyrus! I got to unload punches on the greatest wrestler of all time, before he destroyed me with a punt kick. But because I survived, because I was in the final two, I became NLWF Undisputed Tag Team champion. It was worth going through hell, to get a small glimpse of heaven. I’m a survivor, ya know? And even though I’m not part of the Rookie 2 Legend competition anymore, doesn’t mean I’m not going to try my very best!

★ ★ ★

James Sane looks behind him to see a car coming down the road.

James Sane
I’ll ask for directions!

James Sane smiles wide and begins waving his arms.

James Sane
HELLO! HELLO!

The car gets closer, revealing a cab.

James Sane
I NEED SOME HELP!

The cab begins to slow down, then suddenly speeds up.

James Sane
What the fuck?

The back door of the cab flies open and hits James Sane, knocking him down hard onto the road.

James Sane
Wh…Wha… What happened?

The cab stops and the back window rolls down. James Shark sticks his head out of the window, looking back at James Sane laid out in the road.

James Shark
TOUGH BREAK NIGGUH! Let’s go!

The cab drives away down the road.

★ ★ ★

James Shark
Five miles? Pfft! At half a mile I decided to go back, put my suit back on, and call a cab. Do you know how much a five mile cab ride is? About nine dollars!

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason passes The Infamous TODD as the Death Toll Elite Warehouse comes into view.

Chad Mason
Your.. Huh.. Legs… Huh. Are too little… huh… to outrun mine!

The Infamous TODD
Your dick is too little to satisfy any woman, but does that keep you from having sex?

Chad Mason
That… huh… was… huh. An awesome burn…

The Infamous TODD
Like the one that hooker gave you after you paid her three dollars for sex?

Chad Mason
How… whoa… aren’t.. you… huh… winded?

The Infamous TODD
Cause unlike you, I can go all night long! I might be small like a needle, but I move like a sewing machine!

Chad Mason
You… Haven’t… Seen… The Next Full Measure!

Chad Mason speeds up starting to create separation between he and TODD.

The Infamous TODD
You haven’t seen the rocket!

The Infamous TODD pulls out a Saunders Falcon 2 Wrist Rocket Slingshot. They continue to run, getting closer to the warehouse.

The Infamous TODD
FUCK YOU!

The Infamous TODD pulls back on the wrist rock and releases, sending a rock flying through the air at Chad Mason. It hits him to the back of the head and he falls down hard into the pavement a few feet away from Nick and Ashley Ridicule.

Ashley Ridicule
Thefuck?

The Infamous TODD runs and steps on the back of Chad Mason then jumps off. He continues running past the Ridicule’s and then touches the warehouse.

The Infamous TODD
FUCK YEAH!

Chad Mason stands up and runs past the Ridicule’s towards the warehouse. He touches it and sits down, leaning against it. A cab arrives down the street and James Shark gets out. He runs over carrying something under his arm.

Ashley Ridicule
HEY!

Nick Ridicule turns around from looking at Chad Mason and Infamous TODD, then looks at James Shark with a bucket of KFC under his arm.

James Shark
I ran my five miles so fast, I stopped by KFC on the way for a snack!

Nick Ridicule
It’s ten A.M!

James Shark
What? Nigguh’s gotta eat right?

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
I.. I promised myself I wasn’t going to get angry with these guys.

Nick Ridicule closes his eyes.

Nick Ridicule
After my match against Matt Gray at Trial by Combat, I destroyed my locker room, several monitors backstage, I did a lot of damage to my condo when I got home. He beat me in my match, in my hometown, for my title. I’ve been trying to analyze what went wrong, but it all comes down to a single reason. My wife wasn’t with me. I’ve been trying to think of a way to talk to her about things, but with the show, I feel now isn’t the best time. So I’ll hold my tongue, and talk to her about things soon.

★ ★ ★

James Sane keeps running, Elite Death Toll in the distance.

James Sane
Oh thank Cyrus!

James Sane keeps running but slows down as a dog steps out from the bushes. James Sanes smiles wide and whistles, then pats his legs.

James Sane
Here boy… or girl! Come here! COME HERE!

The dog runs over and jumps up on James Sane, biting his forearm and taking him down to the ground.

James Sane
AWWWWWWHHH!

The dog begins foaming at the mouth and it bites the hand of James Sane who rolls back and monkey flips it away. James Sane pushes up, then runs away as fast as he can towards the warehouse. The dog chases after him then bites his ankle, tripping him in front of Nick Ridicule and James Shark.

James Sane
SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME!

The dog mounts James Sane and begins to hump him but is quickly Nick Kicked off of him.

Nick Ridicule
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Nick Ridicule motions towards the dog and he runs away at top speed. Nick Ridicule turns around slowly and looks at James Shark holding his bucket of chicken. Nick Ridicule looks down at James Sane, bleeding from his hand and forearm, a look of terror on his face. Nick Ridicule looks at Chad Mason and The infamous TODD, who hides his slingshot behind his back. Nick Ridicule looks at the ground, then he looks up at Ashley Ridicule. He shakes his head then looks at everyone again.

Nick Ridicule
Are you all fucking retarded?

★ ★ ★

Ashley Ridicule
As soon as he gave me that look I knew it was all over, no more mister nice Nick.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
THIS IS A WORKOUT WARMUP! Not a fucking race, or lunch time for the hungry black man, or whatever the hell you were doing James! The fuck is wrong with all of you?

James Sane
JAMES SHARK TOOK A CAB HERE!

James Shark
You’re a liar! You’re just saying that because you’re jealous we have the same name.

James Sane
That doesn’t even make sense!

James Shark
It doesn’t have too fool! I said it with confidence!

Nick Ridicule
YOU ARE ALL THE DU…

[I can't wait for you to shut me up]
[And make me hip like bad ass]
[I can't wait for you to shut me up]
[Shut it up]

Nick Ridicule’s phone goes off inside his pocket. He shakes his head and smiles looking at Ashley Ridicule.

Nick Ridicule
Ashley, assign workout partners please.

She smiles back at him and nods her head.

Ashley Ridicule
Ok.

Nick Ridicule walks away towards the warehouse. He enters and shuts the door behind him.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
This was the phone call I had been waiting for all day, in fact all weekend. Dustin Ford suffered and injury at the hands of Chad Mason in the qualifying match they had. I paid to have Dustin Ford checked on and now we’re going to find out the results.

★ ★ ★

Ashley Ridicule holds her hand up.

Ashley Ridicule
Ok everyone, we like to train in groups of three.

Matt Biggars
Can I train with Kat?

FaceKid
Same question.

Ashley Ridicule
Well, that’s fine. Then how about Chad, Infamous TODD, and James Sane. James Shark, you can team with Nick and I. Brain Savage, you can team with.

Ashley Ridicule looks around.

Ashley Ridicule
Oh. Hmm. Death Angel isn’t here yet. But he personally requested to train with you, and since he and Nick are friends now he said ok.

Ashley Ridicule looks at the teams getting together.

Ashley Ridicule
This is going to be such a disaster.

★ ★ ★

Brain Savage
…

Brain Savage rips a massive fart, then smiles slightly.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule enters his office inside the warehouse. He puts his cell phone on speaker phone and he sets it down on the desk.

Nick Ridicule
Hey Doc, what’s the news.

Doctor Andrews
He hand a separated shoulder, a dislocated elbow, and several hairline fractures on his forearm.

Nick Ridicule
Wow. So he’s done for how long, what’s going to be needed?

Doctor Andrews
He’s not going to need surgery luckily, and with some physical therapy and a cast he’s looking at about eight weeks of missed action before he’ll be training again. If he healed as fast as you Nick, that would be about a week, maybe ten days.

Nick Ridicule
They don’t make them all like me for a reason Doc, I appreciate you looking after Dustin and handling everything with him.

Doctor Andrews
He was pretty disappointed that he was going to miss the competition you’re having, but I told him that he’ll get another opportunity someday, and it’s better to wait now, then never get another chance later.

Nick Ridicule
Alright Doc, thanks a lot.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
Fuck…

Nick Ridicule looks around.

Nick Ridicule
The best member of my fucking team.

Nick Ridicule itches his head.

Nick Ridicule
…Fuck…

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule opens the doors to the warehouse and motions for everyone to get in. He walks in and flips on the lights. The fluorescent lights hanging from the ceiling turn on lighting up the Elite Death Roll gym. Everyone steps inside and look around stunned at how amazing everything looks. Punching bags hang down from the ceiling in one area, workout bikes, treadmills, a giant tire, the entire floor is black padded with the Elite Death Toll logo in the center. A Wrestling Ring is in the center of the warehouse.

★ ★ ★

James Shark
I hate Nick Ridicule. Of course that whitey has the bombin wife, the bad ass gym, the amazing ride, the success, the fame, the fortune! Nick Ridicule represents the great white hope, while a struggling black man such as myself is just trying to get by! A struggling, much more talented than he is black man!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule stands in front of everyone.

Nick Ridicule
Welcome to the top training facility for professional wrestlers that exists! I just got some really bad news, concerning Dustin Ford. He’s injured pretty bad, and he wont be able to return to Rookie 2 Legend. I’ve already called a replacement, but not to join the competition, to take one of the loser spots. Chad, you injured Dustin Ford, therefore it’s your job to take his place on Team Ridicule and fight in the Rookie 2 Legend competition.

Chad Mason throws his arms into the arm, beaming with excitement.

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
SCORE!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
Joining our team, taking Chad’s place, will be someone you guys can learn a lot from. I’m pretty excited to have him on my team, because he’s beaten Jason Hawk before, and he’ll be able to help me and all of you.

James Shark
Who is it already!

Nick Ridicule
It’s Electric! Johnny Electric!

James Shark
Who?

Nick Ridicule
Johnny Electric is a former NLWF Junior Heavyweight Champion, he’s a former ASWA Heavyweight Champion, and he’ll teach you guys a few of the things he’s learned over the years.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
Losing Dustin Ford sucks badly. He was our biggest guy, probably our best also. Now Chad is going to have to work twice as hard to make a comeback victory in this competition. I told them this wasn’t going to be easy, it’s about whoever wants to win the very most, whoever is willing to put all of themselves into this!

★ ★ ★

Highlights of training at Elite Death Toll begin to play, showing different workouts from all the different partnered groups. It starts off showing a yoga session led by Ashley Ridicule at the front of the group on the matting. Following that, they begin weight lifting. James Shark is at the bench press and he’s got the bar across his chest, with two hundred pounds of weight added on. He is sweating profusely, trying with all his might to lift.

Nick Ridicule
Come on Shark, just one more, you can do it, push past the pain, what doesn’t kill you, will just make you stronger!

James Shark
I can’t do it.. Help..

Nick Ridicule
Nope, we’re not helping you. When you’re in the ring, we’re not going to be around to help you. You need to dig deep, reach for that next level, and PUSH!

James Shark lifts the bar up and drops it down on the rack, then lets his arm falls. He smiles wide looking up at Nick and Ashley Ridicule.

Nick Ridicule
Alright five more!

Nick Ridicule claps his hands together.

James Shark
But you said one more!

Nick Ridicule
That was to motivate you to get through it. You’ve actually got ten more to do!

James Shark
This is bullshit!

★ ★ ★

James Shark
Nick just hates me because I’m black, and because his girl has been eyeing me all day long! It’s not my fault I’m the sun tan superman, then mack daddy of pro wrestling! He’s trying to kill me, but he knows he can’t do it in a fight, so he’s using his authority over me! FUCK THAT NIGGUH!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
Come on Shark, stop being a little bitch and just do it!

James Shark
Fuck you! You’re the little bitch, not me!

Nick Ridicule
Who’s the one who does this everyday, and who’s the one who’s giving up and saying he can’t do it?

James Shark
I’d like to see you do this, you couldn’t even do one!

Nick Ridicule
I wouldn’t do one, because that’s not enough weight jackass. You’re lifting what Ashley can rep!

James Shark
Bullshit!

Nick Ridicule
Oh? You think so? How about a little bit of a wager?

James Shark
I’m listening nigguh!

Nick Ridicule
If Ashley can do more than you, then you, as a team, all have to do five times as many pushups as she does reps!

James Shark
And if she can’t?

Nick Ridicule
Then I’ll make you all official members of Elite Death Toll, you can make your own workout routine, and I wont push any of you as hard as I’ve been pushing.

James Shark
Deal!

Nick Ridicule
Ready Ashley, he did twenty, barely. I’ll spot you babe.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
What Sharky doesn’t know is Ashley usually likes to bench around two hundred and fifteen pounds, so this is lighter than she usually does. She’s a powerful chick.

★ ★ ★

Ashley positions herself on the bench press and grabs hold of the bar. Nick Ridicule stands over her, with his fingers touching the bar. She lifts it up and begins doing her repetitions as everyone on Team Ridicule stops what they are doing, and starts to count each one out loud.

James Shark
Soft! No one counted for me.

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
I went from six to midnight watching Ashley. Almost blew a fucking load in my belly button!

★ ★ ★

“16” “17” “18” “19”

Nick Ridicule
Alright Ashley, stop milking it and finish him off.

Ashley Ridicule
Ok.

Ashley speeds up, passing James Shark’s twenty count.

“24” “25” “26” “27” “28” “29” “30”

Ashley racks the bar and sits up, looking at James Shark with a smirk on her face.

Nick Ridicule
I belive the deal was five pushups for every repetition. Chad Mason, smartest man on Team Ridicule, stop checking out my wife or I’ll kill you, and what’s five times thirty.

Chad Mason
One hundred and fifty.

Nick Ridicule
One hundred and fifty pushups for all of Team Ridicule! You can thank Mr. Overconfidence here for that. Matt and Kat, you lead the group in pushups. Ashley, I need to talk to you inside my office for game planning and match tape review.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
I always watch my matches a few times, especially after a loss. It’s good to see things from a spectator point of view while watching the match, that way I can coach myself, Ashley can coach me, we can fix any flaws in my game. That’s another thing I love about Ashley being ringside, she’ll scream out to me when something is working or not working, and I’m able to adjust well because of her. You don’t here it because of announcers and shit, but she’s extremely important to me, in every single aspect of my life.

★ ★ ★

Katrina Costick stands in front of the group and drops down to her hands and knees.

Katrina Costick
I’ll count the pushups, everyone follow Matt on the lift and drop. Ready?

Matt Biggars
Down..

Everyone lowers down slowly.

Matt Biggars
Up!

Katrina Costick
One!

Matt Biggars
Down..

Everyone lowers down again.

Matt Biggars
Up!

Katrina Costick
Two!

Matt Biggars
Down..

Everyone lowers down, but this time James Shark falls face first down into the matted floor.

Matt Biggars
Up!

Katrina Costick
Three!

James Shark gets to his knees, holding his face.

James Shark
THIS IS BULLSHIT!

Matt Biggars
Dude, since we’re at three of one hundred and fifty, I think you should save complaining to when this actually becomes difficult, ok confidence?

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
I really dislike James Shark. He’s the kind of guy who blows your high!

★ ★ ★

James Shark stands up and walks towards Nick Ridicule’s office.

Matt Biggars
Hey what are you doing dude! Get back over here!

James Shark
Shut up Nigguh! You aint the boss of me! I’m the team captain, and right now I need to talk to Nick! Ashley cheated, she’s on steroids!

James Shark walks over and holds up his fist to knock on the door. He shakes his head and grabs the handle, letting himself in onto to see Nick and Ashley Ridicule having sex on top of his desk.

Nick Ridicule
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING FUCKER!

James Shark quickly closes the door.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
That was the first time we’ve ever been caught fucking. Ashley can do the splits on my desk! Do you know how fucking hot that is? That’s a position only few men as fortunate as I am get to fuck in! Watching her embarrass James Shark by doing more reps than him was a massive turn on, I love watching Ashley belittle guys, plus the sweat running down her face, onto her breasts, the cute way her nose crinkled each time she lifted…

Nick Ridicule looks down at a massive bulge in his pants. He face palms himself.

Nick Ridicule
FUCK I HATE YOU SHARK!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule emerges out of his office, his expression shows just how pissed off he his. He pulls up his shorts and ties the string.

Nick Ridicule
Matt, gloves for two.

Nick Ridicule continues tying the sting, then he walks towards the ring, shoulder blocking James Shark as he passes him by. Matt Biggars tosses Nick Ridicule a pare of four ounce gloves and he puts them on while sliding into the ring.

Nick Ridicule
I’m sick of you Shark, put on some gloves and get the fuck in here.

James Shark
What you talking about nigguh?

Nick Ridicule
For some psychotic reason, you seem to think that you’re the leader of this team, that you’re me or some shit. You talk a lot of shit, you’ve been saying for a year that my win over you was a fluke, and now it’s time to put up, or shut the fuck up. You and I are going to spare, and I will show everyone the difference between a rookie and a legend.

★ ★ ★

Ashley Ridicule
I’m a little bit embarrassed about what happened. But his aggression is such a turn on, and he’s been so fired up lately, we just couldn’t resist,

★ ★ ★

James Shark catches his gloves and puts them on.

James Shark
You know I’m gonna knock your ass out right?

Nick Ridicule
If you knock me out, I’ll retire right now, and you can have my spot in the NLWF.

James Shark
You just wrote a check, that your ass can’t cash!

Nick Ridicule
No my friend, that was you. Get into the ring, I’m going to give everyone a bit of a demonstration.

Nick Ridicule head butts the turnbuckle three times, then puts his hands together in a prayer form. He turns around and looks across the ring at James Shark who puts in a mouthpiece and smiles. Ashley Matthews walks over to the bell attached to the ring post, then hits it with the hammer three times.

*Ding*Ding*Ding*

Nick Ridicule doesn’t put in his mouthpiece, instead he tosses it out of the ring.

Nick Ridicule
I want everyone to watch, learn.

James Shark runs at Nick Ridicule , then throws wild punches. Nick Ridicule lifts his foot up and kicks James Shark top the face, knocking him down. Nick Ridicule smiles and walks away from James Shark to his corner.

Nick Ridicule
James Shark is not a well rounded fighter.

James Shark hurries up then runs at Nick Ridicule who has his back turned.

Nick Ridicule
James Shark, is NOTHING.

Nick Ridicule tilts his head to the left, and James Shark misses a punch. Nick Ridicule grabs his wrist with both hands, then judo flips him over, sending him flying over the top rope.

Nick Ridicule
His attack is predictable, as all he tries to do is land one heavy right hand to knock his opponent out.

James Shark stands up then slides into the ring and attacks Nick Ridicule with punches that are blocked with ease. Nick Ridicule backs up, blocking every punch James Shark throws with his arms, then he leg kicks him, buckling him at the knee. James Shark falls forward and Nick Ridicule hits him with a back elbow to the nose. Nick Ridicule spins and connects another back right elbow, immediately followed by a left head kick that drops James Shark.

Nick Ridicule
Over aggression is easily countered by patience. PATIENCE! Something I did not show when I fought Matt Gray at Trial by Combat. I let my anger take control and I abandoned my game plan because of a few misfortunes. James Shark is nothing, you are all better than he is, you have the potential as long as you always fight for what is best, not what is best for just yourself.

James Shark stands up.

James Shark
Shut up fool! Let’s box!

Nick Ridicule
You are so fucking stupid.

Nick Ridicule puts his hands up and moves towards James Shark, bobbing and weaving as he moves in. James Shark throws a wild right hook and Nick Ridicule dips back, avoiding the punch, then dives forward with a left right combo, followed by a right uppercut that snaps James Sharks head back. James Shark falls back and hit’s the ropes, then bounces forward at towards Nick Ridicule who drops his hands down by his side, lowering his guard. Nick Ridicule bends forward sticking his chin out.

Nick Ridicule
Can’t hit me..

James Shark swings and Nick Ridicule avoids it with a side step to the left.

Nick Ridicule
In order to achieve success you must well rounded and always prepared for your opponent. You have to know what they are going to do, before even they do!

James Shark dives forward with a right superman punch, which is block as Nick Ridicule throws up his left arm. Nick Ridicule quickly counters, hitting James Shark with a right uppercut, left hook, right hook combination that drops a bloodied and battered James Shark to the canvas. Ashley Ridicule rings the bell.

Nick Ridicule
That’s the difference between a rookie and legend. I’m offering you guys a shot at being more than you are, I’m giving you a shot at being a star, making a name for yourself. The NLWF opens doors for you to do whatever you want to do, and it’s a door I’m trying to open for you guys!

James Shark stands up and runs at Nick Ridicule.

Ashley Ridicule
Nick!

Nick Ridicule ducks down, and spins around, then hooks the leg of James Shark. He quickly circles around him, taking his back and he locks in a sleeper hold.

Nick Ridicule
Sweet dreams Shark!

Nick Ridicule tightens the choke as James Shark goes limp. Nick Ridicule releases him and he drops down to the mat.

Nick Ridicule
NONE OF YOU FUCKERS LEAVE HERE UNTIL YOUR PUSH UPS ARE DONE! After you all finish, walk the fuck back to the houses and you can move in! Ashley and I are out of here. Kat make sure these fuckers do what they are told!

Nick Ridicule leaves the ring and walks towards the exit, Ashley Ridicule following him with a smile on her face.

Nick Ridicule
Welcome to hell guys, as soon as you do your pushups, you’re officially part of the team. When James Shark wakes up, tell him to get the fuck out after cleaning his blood up off my ring.

Nick and Ashley Ridicule leave the warehouse leaving everyone standing around shocked.

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
Nicky fucked Shark up so bad! Man, what a perfect way to end the day!

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
Hey guys, I suggest we do our pushups, that way we don’t end up like James Shark over there!

Everyone gets down on the mat and they continue doing pushups.

★ ★ ★

James Shark is bruised up with several cuts on his face. His nose is crooked after having been broken by Nick Ridicule.

James Shark
I wasn’t ready, he sneak attacked me! That nigguh… It’s cause I’m black!

★ ★ ★

Nick and Ashley Ridicule arrive back at the house and they go inside. The house is pretty big, you are in the living room as soon as you step inside. Close by is the kitchen, not separated by any walls, just the kitchen counter that stretches around the kitchen. The walls are painted a blood red and the floors are wooden. The interview room is located downstairs, along with the girls bathroom. Nick Ridicule walks through the living room and over to a door painted blue. He knocks on the door and waits. Jason Hawk opens the door and looks at him

Jason Hawk
Oh hai! Hey where is your team?

Nick Ridicule
I need to talk to you about a trade.

Jason Hawk
A trade you say? Who for who?

Nick Ridicule
James Shark for your best offer.

Jason Hawk
So you’ll take anyone?

Nick Ridicule
Anyone.

Jason Hawk
Ha ha perfect!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
That dumbass doesn’t deserve a shot at anything but my fist to his face. I don’t want him on my team and I don’t doubt he’ll be one of the first guys eliminated from Team Hawk, just like he would have been eliminated from Team Ridicule in the first fight,

★ ★ ★

Back at the warehouse everyone Is just finishing up pushups. James Shark is gone and only James Sane is left to finish his pushups.

Matt Biggars
Come on James, don’t give up, don’t be like a shark!

James Sane keeps doing pushups then collapses.

Katrina Costick
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN!

Chad Mason lays on his stomach, his face buried into the soft matting.

Chad Mason
FUCK YOU JAMES SHARK!

Matt Biggars
I hope I get to fight him in the opening round of Team Ridicule versus Team Ridicule matches.

Brain Savage
Who’s ready for the walk home?

Brain Savage begins laughing manically as he walks towards the warehouse exit.

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
I think everyone wants to be the guy who shuts him up. Especially after watching Nick’s demonstration on him. That was ninja bad ass!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule sits down at the kitchen counter and starts writing a note. Ashley walks up the steps to the second floor where all the bedrooms are. The master bedroom is recovered for the main coaches, as it has a king size bed, and a deck overlooking the opposing house, designed the same way. The five other bedrooms are much smaller and contain bunk beds. The guys bathroom is also upstairs.

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
I wrote the team a note telling them the sleeping arrangements. These guys are in for a really rough ride, I don’t plan on letting anyone go through this show unscathed. They are going to work as hard as anyone else works to achieve this NLWF dream that they have.

★ ★ ★

Everyone arrives outside the houses after the five mile walk back. They go to the van and grabs their bags, then walk towards the house. The exhaustion is visible on everyone’s faces as they enter the house.

Chad Mason
Hey, another note!

Chad Mason pulls the note off the door and smiles.

Chad Mason
I’ll read this one, since James Shark isn’t he, and he doesn’t know how to read anyway. If you did what was asked at Elite Death Toll, then you deserve to enter the house. But after the things I saw today, none of you are ready to be part of the team. None of you deserve to sleep in one of the rooms upstairs. So instead you will spend the night in the basement…

Matt Biggars
FUCK!

Chad Mason
Except Matt and Kat, who can sleep upstairs for being part of the team before the show.

Matt Biggars
Oh yeah, that’s right.

Matt Biggars and Katrina Costick head upstairs leaving Chad Mason, Brain Savage, James Sane, The Infamous TODD, and FaceKid downstairs.

Brain Savage
We can tell ghost stories before bed.

Chad Mason
You know how I know I’m the smartest man here?

James Sane
How?

Chad Mason
I packed a sleeping bag! Woo Woo Woo, You know this!

★ ★ ★

Chad Mason
I’m back in the competition baby! Did Brain Savage say we could tell ghost stories? What a weird guy.. I hope he doesn’t murder us down in the basement.. He is related to Death Angel after all.

★ ★ ★

-Thursday, June 10th 2010-
-Match Announcements-

The shot fades in on Nick Ridicule and Jason Hawk inside the ring. Just like when they picked teams, a spotlight shines down on the winners, Team Ridicule on one side, Team Hawk on the other.

Nick Ridicule
Jason Hawk will book his matches first.

Jason Hawk
In the first round of the Rookie 2 Legend competition, it’s going to be the newest member of Team Hawk, James Shark versus the only man the same color as him, Julian Singleton! In a match I like to call, BLACK ON BLACK CRIME!

James Shark and Julian Singleton have a stare down.

Jason Hawk
That means match number two will see Bobby O’Day versus Chris Matthews! The very rare, but always entertaining O’Day versus Matthews match up, and after what happened to Kim, this one should be good!

Nick Ridicule nods in approval.

Nick Ridicule
Great matches, but the Team Ridicule matches will steal the show. In the featured match up you’ll see the long awaited fight between Matt Biggars and FaceKid, one on one.

★ ★ ★

Matt Biggars
I was stoned as fuck, but still that was the best news I had ever heard! I’m finally going to get a chance at beating the shit out of the cocksucker!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
That leaves newest team member Tapido Delevega versus second chance comeback team member Chad Mason!

All four men stare down with their chosen opponent. Nick Ridicule and Jason Hawk turn around and look at the losers, the spotlight shines on them now.

Nick Ridicule
Since Team Hawk picked first, I book the team Ridicule versus Team Hawk matches this week. We’ll see The Infamous TODD versus Wayne Morley! Johnny Electric versus Randy Cunning! Brain Savage versus Adam Williams! And James Sane versus Travis Hawk!

Jason Hawk
TRAVIS C. CASEY!

★ ★ ★

Nick Ridicule
I think this is the best booked ASWA show in history coming up. We’re going to see who rises and who falls. Which losers are the best of the bunch and can get his team some wins. Not only that but we’ll see some amazing matches with great history and hatred.

★ ★ ★

Rookie 2 Legend: Week 1

Rookie 2 Legend: Week 1

Rookie 2 Legend: Week 1 :: Comments