One Minute Promo. One Minute Match.

by Guest January 31st 2013, 6:43 pm

The goal is 1 minute.

One minute to end this match and one minute to lay out a promo that turns out to be better than all your in ring performances and all your promos combined.

Ahem…. Here it goes…

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, James Shark FANS and Anthony King FAN (himself) , allow me to tell you all what’s going to happen on Sunday Night.

I’m not going to just say “oh I’m going to win” or “oh Anthony’s going to lose” No. That’s how an Anthony King promo plays out. This is a James Shark promo.

I am going to obliterate Anthony King within a matter of SECONDS. He’s going to be okay with being finished in seconds because it happens all the time in the bedroom with him and Anna.

Madison told me Wink

but now the secret is out….

Do something about it come Sunday Night. You’ll try, but you won’t.

I’m a fucking revolutionary fighter, fuck being a wrestler, I’m a fighter. In the words of Mike Tyson: "My style is flawless, and my defense is impregnable"

But you know what? Despite me talkin all this shit, I’ll admit it, Anthony is good.

His head movement is good, his foot work is good, his promos are good, his wrestling is good, but at the end of the day, that’s all it is. It’s just…. Good.

Steel Angel is good, Parker Wayde is good, James Betterman is good.

Those are the guys that are on Anthony’s level. Those are the guys that Anthony should be facing.

Anthony’s good, but he’s not great.

Nick Ridicule is great, Steven Angel is great, Hardcore Psychopath is great.

Yet… those guys aren’t even on my level.

There ain’t one person who is on an equivalent level as me. Not one boxer, not one martial artist, not one immortal AND definitely not a sad excuse for a champion in Anthony King.

That prissy little kick that the commentators call a “super” kick, just won’t work on me.

It didn’t keep me down the first time, so I don’t know why he thinks it’s going to keep me down this time around. The reality is that he is gonna catch a jab and then an over hand right to the dome!

I was going to say that after that, I would knock Anthony King out, and knock the black out of him like I did to The Notorious Kid, but there’s only one problem….. THERE AIN’T NO BLACK IN HIM.

You’d find more black in Jimbo Slice then you did in Anthony King. So really, all I’ll say is that I’ll knock him out…..again.

When he loses, I’ll help him out though. I’ll help him out just like I helped MAFIA survive as long as they did in the Glory Battle and I’ll help him out just like I helped him become famous.

BUT

When I say I’ll help him out, I don’t mean in “wrestling”. We all know he can’t be saved in that department. No matter what, he’ll always just be that one guy who never improves. If you look at all of his matches, it’s the same Anthony King who just couldn’t even cut it in that INDY promotion.

I’ll help him out in making promos. Making promos that people actually WATCH, making promos that people actually ENJOY, making promos where people actually LAUGH and not LAUGH at how stupid he sounds.

Anthony… if you’re watching, for your first promo after your loss to me this Sunday, I want you to give me a plethora of adjectives on how my fist tasted when it connected on you numerous times.

After that, I want you to tell the world if you shit your tights before.. or after you went unconscious.

*Timer goes off in the background*

Oh! Wow… well look at that!

Time’s up, a one minute promo, to go along with the one minute match.

It’s over for you Booger King, you gonna get an extra-large ass whooping with the combos I put on you. Thank you and get yo ass knocked out by James Shark….

Again.