KINGDOM of RIDICULE: Unfinished Business RP 2

by **Nick Ridicule** November 19th 2012, 2:07 pm

October 18th 2012
10:44AM
Just When the Rules are Made, Ridicule Changes the Game

Las Vegas, Nevada

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

The shot fades in a hotel room door. A woman slams her fist into the door, knocking as hard as she can.

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

The door swings open to reveal Nick Ridicule in a pair of swim shorts. He smiles as he looks at the camera, then at the woman.

Nick Ridicule
You finally caught me!

The woman gives Nick Ridicule a look showing her displeasure.

HBO Representative Woman
We need to have a discussion to get some clarity on what the hell it is you’re doing with your show!

The woman walks into the suite, passing Nick Ridicule, followed by the cameramen.

Nick Ridicule
Please... Come right in...

Nick Ridicule follows them into the suite.

Nick Ridicule
We were just enjoying some breakfast cereal and some cartoons on Nickelodeon! That’s what I should have changed my name to, Nickelodeon Ridicule!

HBO Representative Woman
We?

Alice Wright enters, empty bowl in hand.

Alice Wright
Nickelodeon Ridiculous to be precise!

She passes them by and enters the kitchen.

HBO Representative Woman
You used your day off, then you escaped following your press conference, now you have a guest who is not on your show guest list!

She talks through her teeth, oxymoronic as she tries to keep quiet but speak loud at the same time.

Nick Ridicule
Why are you talking like that?

Nick Ridicule shakes it off.

Nick Ridicule
Listen, she’s my friend, she’s a member of the NLWF, and I’ve decided we are going to train together!

HBO Representative Woman
Unacceptable!

Nick Ridicule
That’s just too bad then, looks like you’ll have to take your show elsewhere.

HBO Representative Woman
You’re under contract!

Nick Ridicule
Last I heard, James Sharks show isn’t going anywhere near as well as my show is. I’m hearing rumors he wont even have a show for you guys. That alone voids our contract...

Alice Wright enters cautiously.

Alice Wright
I don’t mean to interrupt, but I didn’t realize this was going to be a hassle. I don’t want to be a bother. I have to go home anyway.

Nick Ridicule
I’ll go with you.

HBO Representative Woman
WHAT!?

Alice Wright
What?

Nick Ridicule looks at Alice Wright.

Nick Ridicule
I don’t mean to invite myself.. But I don’t want the fun to end. I would love to see where you come from, see how you train, get to know so much more about you.

HBO Representative Woman
This is not going to happen!

Alice Wright
Yes! Yes come with me!

The completely ignore her and hug each other.

Nick Ridicule
Looks like we’re headed to the UK!

Alice Wright
Oh, I’m so excited!

Nick Ridicule
We’ll fly out tonight, enjoy the rest of day here in Vegas.

Alice Wright
Great, we just have to get my things from the room that I rented before meeting you.

Nick Ridicule
Sure thing, we’ll head out in a bit, I just need to talk to these people first.

Alice Wright
I’ll get my stuff together.

Alice Wright smiles and walks away, not looking any of the cameras. Nick Ridicule looks at the woman. She stands with a dumbfounded look on her face.

HBO Representative Woman
When you signed the contract, you agreed to keep the show in the United States! Since then, you’ve been to Brazil, Toronto, now you want to go to the UK?

Nick Ridicule
Yeah, that pretty much sums up what’s happening. Way to catch up slick!

HBO Representative Woman
Fine! The crew will follow you. We will also need to put a new monitor on you, since you seem to have found and broken the one we had.

Nick Ridicule
That I did!

HBO Representative Woman
Don’t do it again! Just work with us a little bit, that’s all we ask. James Shark has been a disaster to work with, don’t be like him.

Nick Ridicule
I’m going to give HBO the best 24/7 show it’s ever seen! You just have to let me do my thing!

HBO Representative Woman
We need to discuss these.. things.. it is that you do. Work out something that’s beneficial for your style and HBO.

The shot fades on Nick Ridicule taking a seat at the dining room table, joined by the HBO Representative. The show returns on Nick Ridicule and Alice Wright exiting the Stratosphere. They look at each other with a smile, then turn around to look at the tower one more time.

Nick Ridicule
Can you believe we jumped from up there?

Alice Wright simply shakes her head, looking up in disbelief.

Nick Ridicule
What were you thinking?

Nick Ridicule looks at Alice Wright, who returns his gaze with a puzzled on of her own.

Alice Wright
What was I thinking?

She puts her hands on her hips as she continues to stare at Nick Ridicule. He refuses to look at her as he stares ahead, trying to hide a smile, masking it with a smirk. The limousine arrives and they get inside.

Nick Ridicule
I’m starting to think you may be a bad influence on me! At the very least a naughty one!

Alice Wright
Oh yeah Nick, you caught me. Who knows what kind of crazy adventures I’ll drag you into today!

The two of them dish out heavy doses of sarcasm at one another.

Nick Ridicule
Glad you finally admitted it.

Alice Wright rolls her eyes as the are driven to her hotel.

Alice Wright
I’ll only be a second.

She exits the limousine, not even waiting for the driver to get the door. Nick Ridicule sits back, watching her leave before looking at the camera.

Nick Ridicule
I have to admit, filming all of these episodes has really put me on edge the last couple of weeks. With Alice I feel as though I can stand at the edge, without falling over. Just something about her that gets through to me.

Nick Ridicule looks out the window again.

Nick Ridicule
I heard a nasty little rumor this morning. Read something somewhere about my opponent for City of Evil, bashing homosexuals. The biggest match of his entire life is approaching, yet he would rather be an Internet gay basher on twitter..

Nick Ridicule shakes his head, a look of disbelief on his face.

Nick Ridicule
I think this is the first time in history, correct me if i’m wrong...

Alice Wright enters, tossing her bag ahead of her before she enters and sits next to Nick Ridicule. He moves his arm down from the seat around her shoulder.

Alice Wright
What I miss?

Nick Ridicule
I was just telling our friends here...

Nick Ridicule looks into the camera extending his hand.

Nick Ridicule
That this is the first time the NLWF Champion is more driven and more of an underdog, than the challenger.

The limousine pulls away.

Alice Wright
I thought you weren’t suppose to talk to the cameramen.. That’s what they told me.

Nick Ridicule shakes his head.

Nick Ridicule
At first I was talking to the cameramen, until I realized, they don’t give a shit about me AT ALL! They have a mission to record everything I do, and you’ve seen the lengths they are willing to go.

Alice Wright
I flipped that one off!

She points at the camera as the shot switches to her. Nick Ridicule laughs out loud.

Nick Ridicule
You sure did! We won yesterday, they couldn’t catch us at all!

Alice Wright
It’s cause we’re ninja!

Nick Ridicule looks at Alice Wright, a serious look on his face.

Nick Ridicule
I actually am a ninja.

Alice Wright
Oh.

Nick Ridicule
A story for another time! Once I realized the cameramen don’t care and probably aren’t listening, probably to busy thinking about food, I decided to talk to the viewers. The people who will be tuning in to watch my path unfold on the road to City of Evil.

Alice Wright
That’s swell. Hi everyone!

Alice Wright waves at the camera.

Nick Ridicule
I am the No Limit Wrestling Federation Champion, yet I’m going into this match feeling like I have something to prove, something to win. Is my opponent anywhere near my level? Not even close! Yet his hype has surpassed mine during my inactivity. He goes on these massive winning streaks, months without losing, steam rolling guys who aren’t even good enough to compete on Direct Hit or Legacy.

Nick Ridicule shrugs.

Nick Ridicule
At City of Evil, I’ll take back what is mine. I’ll lay the hype to rest once and for all!

The shot fades away on a focused and determined Nick Ridicule. The show returns with the limousine parked near an air strip. Alice Wright and Nick Ridicule step out and walk towards a jet with the NLWF logo on it.

Nick Ridicule
Ever been in one before?

Alice Wright stares ahead at the jet plane, then turns and shakes her head. The begin to walk toward the jet.

Nick Ridicule
Part of my contract says I can use company jets for travel. I hate flying in a plane full of people, it makes me uncomfortable. Not to mention all the people who want autographs, then call you an asshole when you refuse.

Alice Wright
You’re not afraid of crashing?

Nick Ridicule
I’m not afraid of anything!

They walk up the steps entering the jet, greeted by the stewardess.

Stewardess
Hello and welcome, I’ll be serving you over the duration of your flight. We’ll make a single stop in New York, refuel, then be on our way to the UK!

She smiles a bright white smile as they walk past and take a seat.

Stewardess
You’ll just need to buckle up for takeoff, then you’ll be free to roam around the plan. As per request of Nick Ridicule, the pilot has agreed to let you both fly the plane once we are on our way to the UK!

Nick Ridicule
Excellent!

Alice Wright
Fly the plane?! LET ME OFF!

Nick Ridicule
Calm down, the pilot will be there to guide us!

Alice Wright
What have I gotten myself in to?

The show fades away, returning as the jet plane lands down in New York.

Nick Ridicule
Hey, Robbie wants to come along and get in some training. You don’t mind, do you? He says he’ll stay out of our way. I don’t think he likes being on camera anyway.

Alice Wright
You don’t have to ask me, I don’t mind.

Nick Ridicule
Just out of respect.

Nick Ridicule winks and he moves his hand on top of hers. The show fades away again.

THE MATCH
KINGDOM of RIDICULE
-vs-
BIRDS of WAR

I’m going to fuck ya’ll up.

I could leave it at that!

Just knowing you know, what I know.

Not only will I defeat each member of your team, but I will be a leader who leads my team to flawless victory! I will lead by example, at the front line doing damage. I need to rally my troops, and what better way to do so than with a shoot?

You know when I shoot, I shoot to kill.

What’s going to happen when Jason Hawk is revealed, not as the hero he pretends to be, but as the lazy asshole we’ve seen since NLWF met its demise? I find it funny that he asks, “Who will save you now?”

I have a wakeup call for you pal. No one saved us, no one is gonna save us now! When you fall trying to do so and I’m left to carry the weight of the Federation on my back once again, I’ll be defending that honor with a smirk that says, “I TOLD YOU SO!”

Legends of the Fall and Ultimate Glory will be nothing like City of Evil. You wont have that opportunity to jump in when everyone least suspects or expects it! Instead, you’ll have five of the greatest warriors modern day gunning to kill the king.

That brings the question to my mind. What are you the king of? King of Opportunity! No doubt about that one, you’ve made an amazing career following and seizing opportunity. The last few years that kind of opportunity hasn’t been presented to you.

When opportunity is removed, Jason Hawk can’t create it for himself.

You know the deal, all weakness will be revealed! I pick apart the competition and dissect flaws like a machine! I will fuel the fire that is my team!

Jason Hawk wants my torch, he wants to be the guy who leads the way of the Federation through the darkness. I’ll tell you right now that he can’t handle the pressure. None of them could. I am the pillar which the Federation can always count on for support.

What happened when I walked away?

Who stepped up to save us then?

I left for a month and not a single fuck stepped up!

Perhaps it was because no one could hold the weight of the NLWF, but me!

Truth!

Just look at that disaster of a federation I sent you all to! Just so that you could see what you had and lost just because you didn’t enjoy it, didn’t support it, and weren’t grateful for it.

I stand by everything I said when I threw you all to the dogs. The bitches that were kicked out first.

I bet now you have a great appreciation for the No Limit Wrestling Federation.

The No Limit Wrestling Federation was in a Ridicule induced coma.

All the things that sucked about the NLWF are gone now.

Because of me.

Two years in exile.

All of us.

It’s what we share.

Where has your exile brought you?

Because as you can see when you look across the bridge at the disaster on the other side, some peoples exile hasn’t taken them anywhere. Instead they are left stewing in the same old shit from which I left them in.

“IT’S WARM AND IT REMINDS OF BETTER TIMES!”

It’s ok boys, you can stay in your shit as long as you like. You’re never coming back here, so you might as well just use old ideas and worn out storylines.. Can you even call it that? Never seen a place where two guys who don’t even fight are featured for a majority of the shows.

and they say I have an ego..

At least they didn’t name a fed after themselves

Who am I going to ruin next?

This isn’t much of a chess game.

This is like a Kingdom versus a Rebellion.

You have a King, Queen, Bishop, Knight and Rook as a part of the Kingdom of Ridicule.

You have a Hero, a Whore, a Has Been, a Never Was, and a Hoodlum as Birds of War.

The phrase, “Snowballs chance in hell” seems to come to mind. Sure this team could win, I’m sure in some other dimension they do pull off a win. But in this world, in the realm of our reality, they don’t stand a chance.

Lets take a look at the whore. She’ll have the ability to eliminate anyone on our team. Probably with some sort of STD. What a waste to have that sort of power go to Alison Williams who will be the weakest link of that team.

If laziness had a dick, it would be in the mouth of Alison Williams.

With no ambition or drive, she is without a doubt the lowest member of her team. Lowest because she’s too comfortable in her position on her knees.

She once again holds the Women’s World Title hostage. She is the death of women’s wrestling and must be taken out. Alice Wright is in prime position to do just that! At Ultimate Glory she’ll become a champion that changes and transcends her division.

Alison Williams is a non threat to this time, I would be surprised if the bitch even showed up. I make once call to Dean Diamond and she’ll find herself in a closet with the guy before the match.

I’m the only guy in this match who hasn’t fucked Alison Williams. Even the referee and enforcers have fucked this bitch silly.

That gives me a huge advantage over everyone.

Then you have the Has Been Bishop, Brenton Cyrus. Looking washed up BC! One the greatest and most mighty entity in the World, reduced to Stylez bitch! Oh how the mighty have fallen!

It’s time for you to just go back to Hollywood, we’ll leave you after Legends of the Fall, and you can do what you do best, act.

Act like a bad ass, act like god, act is if your career has any relevance anymore.

Your team is a team full of non fighters. A team full of members who would rather lay on their back and get what they get. Unwilling to fight for what you feel you deserve.

Pathetic is your team.

We’ve got you in a four move checkmate and you can’t do anything about it! It’s already too late and you haven’t even gotten out the gate!

Even if I wasn’t a fighter for this Federation, I would buy a ticket to Legends of the Fall just to whoop your teams asses!

Mark Zout is a nobody and he’ll prove that at Legends of the Fall.

Try and you will succeed.

Well, trying is lying and my succeeding will crush anything you might have in store. Who is Mark Zout? Some Indy scum who was fortunate enough to pull in a contract with the NLWF? Someone with enough of a following that you can kinda hear them cheering when he’s around.

He’s had plenty of time to make a name for himself, yet all I remember about him is that he likes to hide and pour drinks on people.

Best of luck trying that in our match. I’ll have a Nick Kick just for you, when I decided I want to step out of the Pyramid Cage, delivered with perfection directly to your face!

As for the hoodlum?

He’ll be bitch slapped like their is no tomorrow. I have the utmost faith in Robbie Hart as the castle watchmen, claiming the Pyramid Cage as part of the Kingdom of Ridicule!

This match isn’t as even as it looks.

I’m going to bury you all.

NLWF Champion.

Here.

Now.

I.