ZIF

by ZIF December 11th 2010, 9:11 am

ZIF

-- BIRTH NAME --
Who knows. He had it legally changed to BAD ASS, or so he says

-- STAGE NAME --
BAD ASS or ZIF. Both Must be capitalized at all times when writing his name

-- NICKNAME(S) --
You don’t need a nickname when you have an awesome name like ZIF.

-- HEIGHT --
6’4, allegedly

-- WEIGHT --
215, allegedly

-- DATE OF BIRTH --
07/19/Noneofyourfuckingbusiness

-- ALIGNMENT --
Motherfucking asshole of a heel.

-- HOMETOWN --
Detroit, MI, allegedly

-- RESIDING --
Los Angeles, CA

-- THEME MUSIC --

’Headstrong’ by Trapt

-- ENTRANCE --
Popping up on the screen is a thick bar of snow, flickering amongst a black backdrop. From the static and slight popping sound in the background you’d assume this is public access television. Far from that actually, as ‘BAD ASS PRESENTS’ in bold red jumps on the screen, followed by ‘A EPIC ASS KICKING’ in an awkward manner. From there we hear the chatter of a very vocal crowd of twelve and a seeing eye dog who are not liking the ‘man’ who’s about to come out. Either that or they hate his ridiculously loud music, which is a lovely ditty named ‘Headstrong’ by Trapt, btw. The camera turns from the mutant crowd to the entrance curtain, which appears to be a goldfish patterned shower curtain hanging on a clothesline. Suddenly that curtain bursts open, and appearing on the grassy knoll on this summer evening in some random hick’s backyard is the one they call BAD ASS ZIF. Gaunt, lanky, gangly, sickly, pathetic...all words that could describe his figure. But inside the emaciated body of this boy lies the heart of a warrior and the soul of a viking. One can tell by simply looking into his Jolt Cola influenced eyes, watching as they wildly bounce from spectator to toothless spectator. Clearly the type of eyes that mean business.

-- FINISHING MOVE(S) --
Headstrong
ZIF screams at his opponent before running and throwing them to the ropes. Upon return he smashes them with a flying headbutt, then proceeds to kick and stomp on the mat in pain for several seconds before going for the cover.

Trapt
ZIF screams at his opponent before jumping on their back and hooking in a rear naked choke. He usually is thrown around by his much stronger opponent as he hangs on for dear life, hoping that eventually his opponent tires out and he can fully sink in the hold. This often takes several minutes for him to accomplish.

-- SIGNATURE MOVES --
- eye gouge -
- nose bite -
- soccer kick to nuts -
- small joint manipulation and torture -
- headbutt -
- a horrendous imitation of every popular MMA submission -

-- BASIC MOVES --
- sloppy straight punch -
- uncoordinated uppercut -
- wild hook -
- big boot to chest -
- stomps to grounded opponent -
- powerbomb attempt which usually results in him giving up and slamming forearms across his opponent’s back -
- telegraphed dropkick which can be seen from a mile away -
- sleeper hold w/ use of weapon while ref’s back is turned -
- picking up opponents by ears, nose, and roof of mouth only to be followed by brute force -
- turnbuckle pad removal -

-- Attire --
Physical
Nothing on BAD ASS ZIF screams pro-wrestler, he looks like something you'll find in a mother's basement playing dungeons and dragons. But under all that Nerd is a true BAD ASS! He may not have any prison ink on him, but he does have chin fuzz and that's all that matters

Ring Attire
He's a wrangler type of guy, wears a pair to the ring with whatever 80's tee-shirt he can find. His style can be summed up to the 'Flock' version of Billy Kidmen. He needs nothing fancy to mind fuck his challenger

-- Fighting style --
'Kung Fu Panda' style

ZIF Tumblr_l8ufl9eyxy1qdq7rfo1_500

Michael Cera

-- Career Accomplishments --
Being Named BAD ASS
Signing a Contract with NLWF

-- Career Record --
Singles
0/0/0

Tag Team
0/0/0