The tragedy awesome story of Nick and Ashley


Characters


Juliet – Ashley Matthews

Capulet – Chuck Matthews

Lady Capulet – Jessica Matthews

Tybalt – Chris Matthews

Nurse – Alison Williams

Peter – Dean Diamond

Sampson – Cotton the Clown

Gregory – Knife to Know You

Romeo – Nick Ridicule

Montague – Death Angel

Benvolio – Corey Casey

Balthasar – Ruben Ricardo Leon

Abram – William Haze

Prince Escales – Brenton Cyrus

Mercutio – TJ Tilli

Paris – Gunther

Friar Lawrence – Biggie Mac

Apothecary – Matt Biggars

Officer – Jake Hawk



The Prologue

Two households, both alike in history.
In fair Miami (where we lay our scene),
From ancient grudge matches break to Bad Company,
Where blood matches make hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers meet;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.
The fearful passage of their harm-marked love,
And the continuance of their parents’ rage,
Which but their children’s love nought could remove,
Is now the traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.


Act 1 Scene 1


Enter COTTON THE CLOWN and KNIFE TO KNOW YOU

Cotton the Clown: A dog of the house of Ridicule moves me!

Knife to Know You: But Cotton...to move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. If you move...you run away

Cotton the Clown: A dog of that house shall move me to stand! I will take and man or maid of the Ridicule’s to the wall

Knife to Know You: That shows you’re a weak clown, and the weakest goes to the wall

Cotton the Clown: That’s true...and therefore women are weaker, and therefore I will fight Ridicule’s men to the wall...and thrust their maids to the wall

Knife to Know You: The quarrel is between our masters, and you know it. Why get involved?

Cotton the Clown: It’s all one. I’ll become myself a tyrant...and when I have fought with the men...I will be civil with the maids. I’ll cut off their heads

Knife to Know You: The heads of the maids?

Cotton the Clown: Yes. The heads of the maids...or their maidenheads...their virginity

Knife to Know You: Put up your fists...here comes the house of Ridicule

Enter WILLIAM HAZE

Cotton the Clown: My fists are up...quarrel, I’ll back you up

Knife to Know You: How? By turning back and running away?

Cotton the Clown: They don’t scare me

Knife to Know You: You might not, but I do!

Cotton the Clown: Let us take the law of our sides, and let them begin it

Knife to Know You: I’ll give them the finger...see if that provokes them

William Haze: Did you give me the finger?

Knife to Know You: I gave the finger, sir

William Haze: Did you give ME the finger?

Knife to Know You: Is the law of our side if I say yes?

Cotton the Clown: No

Knife to Know You: No, sir. I do not give you the finger, sir, but I give the finger, sir

Cotton the Clown: Do you quarrel, sir?

William Haze: Quarrel, sir? No, sir

Cotton the Clown: But if you do, sir, I am for you. I serve as good a man as you

William Haze: No better. Ridicule over Matthews any day

Cotton the Clown: Well, sir...

Knife to Know You: Say better...here comes one of my master’s kinsmen

Enter COREY CASEY

Cotton the Clown: Yes, better, sir

William Haze: You lie!

Cotton the Clown: Bring it on then, if you’re a man. Knife, remember the washing blow

Corey Casey: Part, fools! Leave it...you know not what you do!

Enter CHRIS MATTHEWS

Chris Matthews: What is this drawn among these heartless hinds? Turn, Corey, look upon death

Corey Casey: All I do is keep the peace. Fight me...or manage yourself to part these men with me

Chris Matthews: What is drawn and talk of peace? I hate the word. As I hate hell...and all Ridicule’s

Enter JAKE HAWK

Jake Hawk: Clubs, bills, and partisans! Strike! Beat them down! Down with the Ridicules! Down with the Matthews’!

Enter CHUCK MATTHEWS and JESSICA MATTHEWS

Chuck Matthews: What noise is this? Give me a sword...anything to fight with!

Jessica Matthews: Why? Why? Why do you want a sword?

Chuck Matthews: Ridicule has come. He flourishes his blade in spite of me

Enter NICK RIDICULE and DEATH ANGEL

Nick Ridicule: You villain Matthews! Hold me not, let me go!

Death Angel: You will not stir one to seek a foe, Nick

Enter BRENTON CYRUS

Brenton Cyrus: Rebellious subjects! You beasts! Stand down from where you are! Stop this quarrel! Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word. By you, Ridicule, and Matthews, have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets, and made Miami’s ancient citizens cast by their grave beseeming ornaments to wield old partisans, in hands as old, annoyed with peace! You, Matthews, shall go along with me. And Ridicule, come yourself this afternoon. To know our farther pleasure in this case...once more on pain of death, all men depart

Exit all but NICK RIDICULE, DEATH ANGEL and COREY CASEY

Nick Ridicule: So Corey, who started this fight? Not you, I hope

Corey Casey: No, Nick, it was that villain Chris Matthews, with his fight prepared, till Brenton came, who parted either part

Death Angel: Whatever man, you always start this kind of shit

Exit DEATH ANGEL

Corey Casey: But dude...what’s up with you? Many a morning we see you in your room...darkly lit...well not lit at all. What’s up?

Nick Ridicule: Not having that, which, having, makes them short

Corey Casey: In love?

Nick Ridicule: Out...

Corey Casey: Of love?

Nick Ridicule: Out of her favour where I am in love

Corey Casey: Yes, but love, so gentle in his view...should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!

Nick Ridicule: But Corey, should we see without eyes? O brawling love, O loving hate! O any thing of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity...misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms. This love I feel, that feel no love in this. Are you laughing at me?

Corey Casey: No, because I’d rather weep

Nick Ridicule: You serious? At what?

Corey Casey: At your good heart’s oppression

Nick Ridicule: Yeah...alright...

Corey Casey: I have the perfect solution

Nick Ridicule: To what?

Corey Casey: To your love life! Come to a party...a Matthews’ party. Your love will be there...and so will other ladies that I can introduce you to

Nick Ridicule: Really?

Corey Casey: Hell yeah my boy...and they won’t even notice you are there!

Nick Ridicule: Cheers Corey...you really know how to cheer a bloke up

Exit NICK RIDICULE and COREY CASEY

End Scene