Nick Ridicule Fired?

Nick Ridicule takes the floor.

■■Nick Ridicule■■

What’s a matter Chuck, to cheap to spring for a press conference, or at least something in front of me, a table? This is a terrible set up, a new report really says a lot about a man. So here is my news report. I’ve been back in the No Limit Wrestling Federation for several days now, and in that time I have fallen deeply in love through no fault of my own.


Nick Ridicule looks around the boring room and shakes his head.

■■Nick Ridicule■■

I’m in love with Ashley Matthews, daughter of Direct Hit General Manager. But I fell in love with her from the first second I saw her, therefore Chuck Matthews punishing me for something that happened before my contract is unjust, and I will sue Jessica Vestieri, and Direct Hit.


Nick Ridicule smiles wide.

■■Nick Ridicule■■

I have never pressured Ashley into anything. I have tried to be her friend and have respected her every wish. I haven’t broken any laws, there are no laws against dating, and if we do decide to have sex, the age of consent is on our side as well, not like it’s anyone’s fucking business! Chuck Matthews you might hate my guts, you might think I’m a piece of shit who wont ever amount to anything, but that’s exactly what they thought about you and Brenton isn’t it? I have nothing else to say. Your best friend Brenton Cyrus has given me his blessing, and has signed me to a Legacy Contract, hopefully Chuck, you’ll pull your head out of your ass long enough to reunite Salvation.


Nick Ridicule smiles again, he pulls out his picture of Ashley Matthews and holds it against his heart as he leaves.

[Hey Chuck, I'm not even gonna Color it for you, but I do have a message]

■Salvation■
I am asking you the most important question of life.
Your joy or your sorrow for all eternity depends upon your answer.
The question is: Are you saved?
It is not a question of how good you are, nor if you are a church member, but are you saved? Are you sure you will go to Heaven when you die?
I can guarantee you one thing if you pray to me as your God.
You will live a long and happy life, at the top of the hill.
If you choose not to worship me as your lord and savior, then you will face the wraith of the lord almighty.