Aaron O'Shea - Hazard + Conor O'Sullivan= Weird

by **Aaron O'Shea** July 8th 2009, 12:27 pm

The scene cuts to the locker room of “The Man of a Million Nicknames” “The Phenomenal Fighting Irishman” “The Sexual Jedi” “The One Man Ratings Machine” “The Forklift Fiend” “The Future” “The Next Big Thing” “The Prince of Wrestling”. The one the only, the Rated[R]Champion. The man who made his return from his serious concussion injury, Aaron O’Shea.
He is sitting on a metallic black steel chair and is reading the first draft of ideas for a new concept he thought of.
The official magazine of the No Limit Wrestling Federation . Similar to the like of other wrestling organizations, which will not be mentioned because they are our rivals in the ratings war.
Anyway back to Aaron. He is wearing grey sweat pants and a white vest. He is also rather sweaty after obviously just getting back from the gym, and his workout.

Aaron takes a white hand towel from his bag and wipes the sweat from his brow and hair.
He looks up at the camera and winks while giving a cheeky smirk.
He points towards the wooden bench for the cameraman to take a seat.

Although when the camera turns to the bench, it is covered by towels and clothes just thrown on it.

The cameraman then begins to speak to Aaron.

No thanks man I think I’ll stand okay. How long are you going to need me here because I have another job now. I am now one of the cameramen on the new Uncensored No Limit Wrestling Federation t.v. station. Channel Zero. So from now on if you need me here for an interview, you and your tubby friend. You know the guy with the unfortunate last name. Mr. Phats. Aare going to have to work around my busy schedule okay?

Aaron looks up at the cameraman with a confused face. He then looks back at his first draft of ideas for the new magazine, which he will be showing to the new owner of Legacy and Gm of Direct Hit, “The Entity” Brenton Cyrus.

Sorry I got confused there for a moment. I thought I was talking to someone who has a more important schedule and life than me.

Aaron looks up at the cameraman again and scowls.

Obviously not. Now don’t ever talk like that again. If it wasn’t for me you would still be a cameraman on that shit show. What was it?...Oh 24. Yeah that’s it.

Yeah youre right man, I would much rather work here for less money a year. You’re the one who got me fucking fired, you had to hire me or I would sue.

Cameraman rolls his eyes as turns the camera towards his face. Then he returns the camera to looking at Aaron O’Shea.

What show have the “Board” got you working on this week then? It’s not that shit Chuck Matthews show is it? Or that “Condemned” movie spin off, the 24/7 Hardcore World Tour thing?

No, no. First of all Chuck is gone, duh.

Aaron shrugs his shoulders and continues to read while the cameraman talks.

I was working on the recent Rossi Podcast. His guest this week on the show was Conor O’Sullivan.

Who the fuck is that?

Eh your old partner, the only other Irish guy in the fed.

Who?

The guy you beat for the PG title.

Excuse me what title?

Sorry. The Rated[R]Title.

Oh that reject. Yeah after I pulverised that twerp I saw how pathetic he really was and realised he was holding me back. Just completely blocked him out. That guy is weird. While I blocked him out at first, I went out to a bar and found that the hottest women didn’t walk away anymore. He did smell really badly. Here’s the weirdest bit okay. When I got back to my pad, he had left twelve messages on my answering machine. Asking if I was home, Where I was? Asking me to call him. Oh and for one of the messages all I heard was panting and grunting. I’m glad I got out when I did because that paedophile will murder the first man, woman or dog he sleeps with because he thinks its foreplay. Anyway what did that retard say about me?

How do you know he said something about you.

Aaron looks up at the cameraman and smiles.

Oh right, everyone has something to say about Aaron O’Shea. Well he said something along the lines of.
Someone’s got to kick your ass and take you down a notch and said that he might challenge you soon. He thinks he can make you humble by killing you.

Aaron rolls his eyes and makes a long sighing sound then looks straight into the camera lens and speaks once again.

Listen Conor you’re a whining piece of trash. I have beaten you convincingly before and have been waiting for my chance at the title. You see I have earned y shot just to get into a fucking tournament for a title shot, because that is respect for other worthy men. You see I didn’t go crying to Brenton to get a title shot, I have earned my position here and will have to earn even more so. I am a fucking warrior and I will fight my ass off to gain my place among the likes of Cyrus, Samurai, Matthews and eh, Swan.
Anyway I’m the real deal. Woah write that down, it’s a new nickname. Anywho Cyrus saw that I deserved the place among the top contenders for the title. That’s why I’m here. Why are you? Now I know Brenton said that whoever wants a shot can ask him and have a shot. Everyone knows that you don’t ask unless you really do deserve it. You abused his gracious offer. You didn’t deserve it but you took it. You lost a lot of respect from the guys and gals in this federation. Now I didn’t respect you anyway but for fuck sake. I will gladly take another “challenge” from you, if that’s what you call it? However it will have to wait until after Resurrection of Respect. God I love that PPV name. Whoever thought of that is truly a fucking genius.
Anyway I plan on winning that tournament and going on to face the champ and obviously hopefully becoming the World Champion and remove myself from my Lower to Mid-card status in this fed for good. See I have done my time in that part of the business. Now it’s time for me to shine and be a star.
It’s motherfuckers like you that get in the way of progress. A pox on this business.
Progress makes ratings, which in turn makes money. Which then of course makes me extremely happy because I got a fat pay check for doing what I love, wrestling. Oh and kicking the shit out of nerds like you.
If you are in the main event on a show, it doesn’t say much for that show and they will lose rating and my money. Unfortunatley you are on Legacy so it does indeed effect me. So just Fuck Off!

Okay so Conor O’Sullivan isn’t a friend of yours then?

Aaron looks at the cameraman and smirks.

Awh hell no!

Anyway first round of the tournament this week. You think you can beat Hazard?

Of course I will beat him I am A-A-mazing. Get it? ‘Cause I spell my A-A-R-O-N.

Eh yeah I get it Aaron.

God I’m so funny. Anyway as you know I love to act out the lives of my opponents and now I have thought up a story about the life of Hazard. He didn’t finish his story. About how he was raped by his Dad and brothers.

He never said he was raped.

Sssh. I’m telling the story. Anyway he got stabbed. Left town. Now that’s his story so far. He never said what happens between that time and when he joined NLWF.
A little birdy told me that he moved down to Alabama or Mississippi or somewhere in the deep south. Well he moved down to Hazard County. That’s how he got the name Hazard.
He and his cousin , Jed, deliver moonshine in an orange car doing jumps and stuff along the way for their uncle Willy Nelson, while being chased down by the law. Oh and Burt Reynolds. I almost forgot Jessica Simpson is also their cousin. Well anyway, Burt Reynolds rapes Hazard. While Willy Nelson watches on. Its like a flashback to his former home.
Hazard then thinks he is experienced enough to roll around with oiled up men professionally now, so he joined wrestling and wears a stupid costume. Well that’s my theory on his life. So it’s called- “ The Douche of Hazard- The story of a loser”.

Sounds like an Oscar.

I think so. Actually there’s a lot of rape scenes. I will step down as the star of the movie. I’ll bless Conor O’Sullivan with a phone call and ask him to play it. He’ll do it, rapes are his past time. Some collect stamps, he collects pictures of his rape victims. He’s sick. I think he raped a horse once.
So you going to be my cameraman?

If Jessica Simpson is in it, fuck yeah!

I’ll add myself in as her cousin so we can have a sex scene.

Dude!

What? People down there only sleep with their cousins. Anyway I don’t think Alison would be to happy share this Male Chicken.

Male Chicken?

Cock. Jesus your dumb.

Oh yeah how is she?

She’s awesome , the reason I get up in the morning, she gets me up haha. Plus she’s a demon in the sack.

Just then Mr. Phats , the usual interviewer runs into the room, drowned in sweat as he regains his breath.

Okay guys I’m here we can start the interview.

Dude we’re done here I think?

Yeah I got to go talk to Brenton about my NLWF Magazine concept. So run back home to your whale of a wife.

Oh Fuck!

Phats passes out after the first bit of exercise he has had since gym class in school. Then the two remaining men laugh and throw stuff at him.
Aaron then picks up his folder of ideas and walks out with Phats remaining there, possibly dead. Who knows?

Only one way to find out. Tune in next time to another Aaron O’Shea RP.